


Love Me Not; Leave Me Not

by Rubrum_Stella



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Explicit Sexual Content, Kuroo's in love with kids, M/M, Slow Burn-ish, Tsukishima is actually a soft babie, and with Tsukishima too, mentions of cheating, model!kuroo, teacher!Tsukishima
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:28:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28279149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubrum_Stella/pseuds/Rubrum_Stella
Summary: Tsukishima just broke up with his boyfriend and, Kuroo was suddenly returning to his life. Kuroo's intention was vague and, Tsukishima didn't really care. He's just going to push him away just like the old times. Maybe.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 20
Kudos: 125





	1. Chapter 1

Tsukishima knew that drowning himself in alcohol will never help him. It was stupid and he’s just practically throwing his money in exchange for something that will never benefit him for a few months. He could’ve just bought that air humidifier that he was eyeing for a while now instead of exchanging a few thousands of Yen for a couple of shots.

But Tsukishima didn’t really care. All of his rational thoughts flew away as soon as he drank his first drink. The past week was rough— too rough and Tsukishima doesn’t know if he should be proud of himself that he’s not withering physically or be scared because he’s too good at masking what he’s feeling.

Tsukishima Kei just got cheated on by his boyfriend of two years.

He learned the truth a week ago, on a sunny Sunday. Knowing that Itsuki usually has interviews during Sunday, Tsukishima wanted to surprise him since they couldn’t see each other as much as they wanted to because of Itsuki’s hectic schedule and to protect Tsukishima’s identity too. Tsukishima was one of the people who knew the password to his apartment, along with Itsuki’s manager and Itsuki himself.

That apartment was something that Tsukishima knows by heart. He has unconsciously memorized everything that sometimes Itsuki teases him that Tsukishima was actually the owner of his apartment. The blonde would always shrug it off and they would end up drinking hot cocoa while talking quietly about their day.

His plan was perfect. He’ll infiltrate Itsuki’s apartment and cook something new because Itsuki loves tasting new food. And when Itsuki comes home, he’ll be surprised and they will spend the rest of the evening watching a documentary with a few conversations slipped in throughout. Tsukishima would spend the night and Itsuki will kiss him goodbye the next day when he’s about to go to work.

But all of those shattered when Tsukishima got inside the apartment and saw Japan’s current favorite girl, Ikura wearing Itsuki’s shirt. The shirt that Tsukishima gave to him on their first Christmas.

And now, a week later, Tsukishima finally gave himself the liberty to drink alcohol after prohibiting himself because of his work. Tsukishima gestured to the bartender for another drink that the man quickly obliged. The blonde was staring at the counter as he waited for the goddamn pricey drink. His cheeks already feel hot and Tsukishima quietly cursed his low alcohol intolerance. It’s been a while since he last drank. The last time was with Yamaguchi, and that happened four months ago when his best friend got stressed over the book that he’s reading. And Itsuki was the one who brought the booze.

He felt the urge to bang his forehead onto the shiny black counter to remove the memories in his head yet he doesn’t actually want to forget it because it’s... it’s _still_ important to him.

Tears came rushing in and as much as Tsukishima didn’t want to cry in a bar, he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Questions flooded his mind once again and Tsukishima was scared that his head might just pop because there’s already too much in there and yet the questions kept on coming. Every question that enters his mind were almost identical but they never fail to make him chapfallen than he already is.

_Did she make him smile more than I did?_

He wipes his cheeks but it was useless with the new batch of fat drops of tears.

_Did they sleep together too? Went to dates and watch movies?_

Tsukishima chuckled, low and full of sorrow. There were no explanations given to him and he knew that no matter what the explanation will be, it will hurt him but he still wants it. He wants to know why, why did Itsuki cheat when Tsukishima did nothing but to love and support him?

He watched every single one of his movies. Starting from his first one where he acted as an extra with just two lines but Tsukishima still insisted that they should celebrate it up until his recent one where he was already the lead actor. He went to the fan meetings that he could squish into his schedule, really happy to see how Itsuki’s eyes changes when Tsukishima was the one in front of him. Tsukishima was there as they celebrated Itsuki’s first award, his biggest one, and even when he doesn’t get any. They’ve gone a long way and Tsukishima thought that the highway that they’re on was smooth and infinite. And maybe it was, but he chose to jump off of Tsukishima’s boring life and went to join Ikura’s livelier lifestyle.

Tsukishima was suddenly alone after all those years, feeling betrayed and feeling nothing at the same time.

_Am I not enough?_

He cries some more, feels himself getting weaker, faltering with the help of alcohol in his veins. The weight of getting cheated on still on his shoulders, affecting his whole being. His confidence is slowly hitting rock bottom that he couldn’t even feel if he’s really worthy of his job.

Did he ever become enough?

Probably a thousand questions were swarming in his mind. It was agonizing but at least the alcohol was doing its job. Just a few more glasses, he’ll be leaving the reality and all the pain would be gone.

True enough, after seven glasses of Campari, Tsukishima couldn’t even see a thing that wasn’t doubling its number. Suddenly, there were three bartenders and the empty glass in front of him was turning into four. Thanks to Tsukishima’s long legs, he could still reach the floor to balance himself and prevent him from falling off the chair.

“Another one,” Tsukishima slurs at the three bartenders. They were all doing the same thing at the same time and Tsukishima found it amusing. He chuckled and gestured the bartenders to hurry and give his drink.

“Uh, sir, I don’t think that you should—“

“Oh come on!” Tsukishima yelled that some of the people around looked at him. “Give me my drink,” He said, insistent then pressed his cheeks onto the cold counter. Despite the ugly feeling in his head, Tsukishima felt light. It was as if nothing happened. The problems were suddenly gone and all the reason why he felt like crying was that he’s just happy with his life. He wished that everything felt like this. That every day was just like this. Light and free and floaty.

“Give him none,” Someone said and the voice sounded familiar. “I’m taking you home,” The person said while holding both of Tsukishima’s shoulder. “Close his tab, please,”

“I am not quite sure if you are actually related to him, sir—“

“Yeah, he’s right! What if you’re not related to me?” Tsukishima said, the alcohol swimming in his body and vision still blurry even with his eyeglasses.

“God, you’re cute when you’re drunk, Tsukishima Kei,” The person said and Tsukishima quickly stood up upon hearing his name. He wrapped his arm around the person’s neck. Tsukishima tripped a little too but the person was able to catch him lightly.

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s my friend! He knows my name!” Tsukishima was full of joy when he grabbed his card from the bartender’s hands. Only a few people know how to read his first name so this person might really be someone that he knows. He thanked the bartender approximately ten times while the person was helping him to walk straight.

“You look awful,” The person said while circling his arms around Tsukishima’s waist. They were walking towards the parking lot while Tsukishima just giggles.

“Awfully cute, you mean,” They stopped in their tracks for a second and the blonde could feel the person’s stare at his face. It would’ve been fair if he could clearly see the person’s face too.

“Shit. I should’ve recorded that,” Tsukishima snorted at this then they continued to walk slowly.

“Worry not, my friend, I’ll just repeat it,”

“Shit, then is it okay if I record it too?” The person said excitedly that made Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrow. He likes the camera. In love with it, actually. Of course, it’s okay for him making him nod.

The person moves as he tries to grab his phone from his pocket. Tsukishima waits for a few more seconds before he could see the phone in front of him. The person was still holding his waist with his left hand so he tries to use his right hand and takes a video using the front camera of his phone.

“Okay, okay, it’s recording now. Tell the camera how you look like now,”

Feeling the sudden rush of excitement since Tsukishima never did this even though he really wanted to, he removes his arm that was circled around the person’s shoulder and firmly presses both of his palms on his cheeks, squishing them lightly.

“Hi, everyone. I am Tsukishima Kei and first of all, let me tell you—“ Tsukishima hiccuped, “— _this?_ ” He touches his hair and ruffles it. “This shit is natural. Stop saying that it looks like a wig or else I’ll fucking choke you!”

The person beside him was laughing now but Tsukishima was suddenly feeling mad as he remembered the people who told him that his hair looks like a fucking wig. The nerve of those people.

“Tsukki, tell them how cute you are—“

“Oh, shut the fuck up! I’m the cutest being in the world. I’m cut out to be the greatest fucking model. I have natural pretty blonde curls, I’m tall, my skin is literally glowing under these shitty lampposts, and have you seen my legs? They’re long as fuck,”

“Oh my god, Tsukishima,”

“Why the heck are you laughing, you prick? Get your hands off of me, let me show you _how expensive_ my legs look like even in these jeans,” Tsukishima grabbed his hand and pushed him but lost a little bit of balance and he ended up the one being pushed.

He took a few clumsy steps backward and started to crouch, his knees apart and his elbows propped on his thighs. Tsukishima looked at the camera with a serious gaze before sitting completely at the asphalt, doing his best to showcase his long legs at the camera.

Tsukishima even tips his head backward to add some effect before ruffling his own hair not minding if it’ll look disheveled because he looks good in everything. The person just praises him and hollers sometimes to hype him up which works because Tsukishima feels more confident.

“Oh yeah? Like this?” Tsukishima asked as he lightly bites his index finger.

“Yes, fuck. Then look at your right,” The person said and Tsukishima could hear him celebrate as he not just take a video but also captures some of Tsukishima’s godly impromptu modeling.

They went on for minutes, almost a hundred different poses as Tsukishima tells the person that his arms and jawline look good too, not just his long bodacious legs. When the blonde’s energy was finally spent, he gives up and lays in the middle of the parking lot. The stars looked pretty. It would be a waste to watch it alone.

“Okay, I guess that was enough. I’m so excited about what tomorrow holds with a sober Tsukishima watching his drunk self-model,” The person pulls Tsukishima up and continued to say something, well, he was saying a lot of things but nothing was registering in Tsukishima’s brain as he just enjoys the cold air. He didn’t even know when did they went inside a car, drove towards his apartment, and into his room. All he knows is that he felt happy even though he’s tired that he couldn’t stop himself from giggling.

His problems didn’t disappear even after all those alcohol but Tsukishima was able to go to sleep happy for the first time in the week and that was already enough.

  
—

  
This was one of the reasons why Tsukishima wasn’t fond of drinking. It was the fucking aftermath of it. It was the endless throbbing of his head. He hated it but at least it spares him a few more hours of not remembering the reality since he’ll be too busy to complain about his headache.

“Good morning, Tsukki!” Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed when Yamaguchi freely invited himself in his room with a tray of foods in his hand. He placed it on the side table and Tsukishima tried to sit up. “How’s your head?”

“I want to smash it,” Yamaguchi chuckles then sits at the lone chair on the side of the room that he brought closer to Tsukishima’s bed. “Why the heck are you here though?”

“Duh,” Yamaguchi said then gives the aspirin and glass of water to Tsukishima that the latter accepted. “You were a mess last night. You know that I can’t stand to see you like that,”

Tsukishima tried to remember what happened last night while he was emptying the glass. The memories were kind of vague but Tsukishima was adamant to remember it and so his brain didn’t have any choice but to show him a glimpse of the bits of happenings from last night.

“Oh, so you were the one who brought me home?”

“God, were you really drunk that you couldn’t even recognize a different person from your best friend?” Yamaguchi was overreacting and he was doing a great job in annoying Tsukishima early in the morning. “It was Kuroo. He happened to be in that bar too and saw your chaotic self,”

_Oh. What the fuck._

“Are you sure?” Tsukishima asked just to double-check even though he already knows that Yamaguchi wouldn’t lie to him. Yamaguchi nodded and Tsukishima just wanted to grab a gun— not that he has one— and pull the trigger while pointing at his head.

“See for yourself,” Yamaguchi whipped his phone out and in just a minute, his phone was right in front of Tsukishima’s face.

“Shit,” The blonde said as he watches the video sent by Kuroo to Yamaguchi. They were in front of Tsukishima’s apartment and Kuroo was asking him to enter his passcode but he wasn’t doing it. Instead, Tsukishima was standing, his posture bad and his porcelain skin really red.

_“Do you see this number right here, kids? What do you think is this? Oh, so no one knows? That’s okay, Tsukishima sensei’s here to teach you. Everyone, look, this is number one,”_

Tsukishima wanted to kill himself as he watches his drunk self pointing at the numbers while acting like he’s teaching his students instead of entering his passcode like a normal human being. And he could hear the joyful laughter coming from Kuroo behind the camera.

When the video ended, Yamaguchi laughed heartily but Tsukishima doesn’t know what to react. Aside from the fact that it’s fucking embarrassing, Kuroo was the one that he saw him in that state. The last person that Tsukishima wanted to see him drunk.

“Everyone, look, this is number—“ Tsukishima quickly threw a pillow on Yamaguchi that just made the freckled boy laugh again. He messed his hair up and he actually felt like crying. “Oh, my sweet sweet, Tsukki. There’s no need to be embarrassed! I’m sure that you gave Kuroo a good laugh last night,”

“That’s the problem! It’ll take him a month before he shuts up about this,” Tsukishima groaned and his head throbbed once again. Fucking alcohol. “Can I have another aspirin?”

“No, you’re only getting one. Just wait for it to kick in,” Yamaguchi crossed his arms and sat again on the chair. He was looking at Tsukishima and the blonde started to feel the tension of Yamaguchi’s stares. “Tsukki, have you talked to Itsuki-kun?”

Of course, Yamaguchi knows why did he drink. He literally knows Tsukishima and almost all the reasons why he does something. It was annoying. The aspirin’s annoying. Itsuki’s fucking annoying.

“Not yet,” Itsuki never reached to him after Tsukishima texted him that he’s breaking up with him. It was his least expected way of how they’ll break up. Not that Tsukishima ever thought of the two of them would be parting ways. He was too blinded that he didn’t saw the clues that Itsuki was actually cheating.

“It’s either you talk to him to clear things up or never talk to him again and try to forget that asshole,”

Tsukishima knew that it’ll be hard to talk to Itsuki but he also knew that it’s even harder to forget him. He became a part of Tsukishima’s life whether the blonde likes it or not. Tsukishima was a simple person and all these complex things were too much for him. It was slowly trapping him in a place with no air, forcing him to decide on something before he gets crushed.

“But do it at your own pace. Just remember that I’m always here, okay?” Yamaguchi said and Tsukishima could feel his sincerity. If it wasn’t for Yamaguchi, he’s probably in pieces right now. It was Yamaguchi who helped him build himself and not crumble easily and Tsukishima couldn’t express how grateful he is to his long-time friend.

“I know. Thank you,” Yamaguchi smiled genuinely at him then stood up and left his room to give him some space which the blonde really needs at the moment.

It took some time before the medicine kicked in and Tsukishima wasn’t sure if he’s supposed to be happy because at last, the headache was gone or if it should be the opposite because his head was clear again, and it means that he’ll be thinking about Itsuki again.

And in just a few seconds, Tsukishima was already holding his phone, typing Itsuki to see the latest news about him. He was about to search it when a notification popped up. Tsukishima was forced to close the app first to open the messaging app and not much to his surprise, it was Kuroo.

  
**_From: Kuroo Tetsurou | Nekoma |_ **

**_Good morning! High key hoping that you’re okay now! (づ￣ ³￣)づ_ **

  
Tsukishima shrugged his shoulders. It was Kuroo again and his usual exclamation points. He is without a doubt a loud person even in messages and Tsukishima hated loud people. He hates how they talk non stop. He always found it annoying.

But Kuroo safely took him home last night. And even though he’s one of the people that Tsukishima has a love— wait, that was wrong— friendship-hate relationship, Tsukishima would gladly thank him for last night.

  
_**To: Kuroo Tetsurou | Nekoma |** _

_**Thank you for yesterday.** _

  
A minute didn’t even pass when Tsukishima pressed send yet his phone was already ringing with Kuroo’s name flashing on the screen. Tsukishima wasn’t even hesitating whether to answer the call or not. He just didn’t want to talk right now, especially to Kuroo.

The call ended but Tsukishima didn’t even have the time to breathe again when Kuroo called again.

_Just what the fuck?_

Kuroo was pushy and Tsukishima knew it since high school. There's no way that Kuroo would stop calling him unless he picks up. Tsukishima deeply regretted replying to him.

“Hello,” He said with his face nothing but stoic and emotionless.

“That hello is so bland, Tsukki! But you’re welcome anyway. Pay me back some time!”

Suddenly, Tsukishima wanted to stab Kuroo. Pay him back? Even though Tsukishima didn’t really ask for his help? Well.. he didn’t really ask for it but now that Tsukishima tries to imagine himself yesterday, he did look like he needed some help. But the thought of having a debt to Kuroo felt so wrong and Tsukishima already wants to pay him back as soon as possible. It’ll be a pain and he really didn’t want to prolong the agony.

“Then how should I pay you?”

“Wait! Holy shit! Are you really agreeing with that?”

Kuroo’s voice was so cheery that Tsukishima’s ear just wants to bleed. It might not be the earliest time in the morning but it’s still morning—11 is still considered morning, and Kuroo’s already this energetic.

“Well, you did help me last night but if you don’t want then I’d be more than happy to not see your face again,” Tsukishima was blunt and there’s really nothing coming out of his mouth but harsh things to his friends and everybody knows this but Kuroo still tries to talk to him so it’s Kuroo fault if his feelings get hurt with his words. Tsukishima doesn’t really care.

“That’s mean, Tsukki,” god. Tsukishima could imagine Kuroo pouting. A shiver runs through his arms. Imagining it already feels horrible. Tsukishima wished that he never sees it in person.

When Tsukishima didn’t answer, Kuroo quickly spoke to fill in the silence, “Anyways, how about a drink?”

Tsukishima frowned. There’s no way that he’s going to drink again after that video. He shifts in his seat and keeps his eyes on his feet that he’s curling and uncurling just because.

“I respectfully decline. I don’t want to drink anymore. Last night was already enough,”

“Come on, Tsukki! You said that you’ll pay me back!”

“I can pay you in cash instead if that would mean that I’ll not see you,” It was... true. He’d be willing to pay him in cash— oh fuck. He spent a lot yesterday. He’s not even sure if he still has any money in his account.

“Really mean,”

Tsukishima huffed. He didn’t really want to see anyone right now except Yamaguchi. He’s still distraught but maybe he could give this one to Kuroo. Just the thought of not being able to go home and accidentally sleeping on the streets because he’s too drunk last night mortified Tsukishima so much. He was actually lucky that it was Kuroo who found him, not just anyone who could’ve been a dirty pervert.

Tsukishima felt the chills and once again, he was thankful to Kuroo. And so, even if half of him was opposing his other half, he started to speak.

“Fine. Text me where and when,”

“Oh shit! Okay! Uhm— yes. I’ll text it to you later, okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Thank you, Tsukki! I’m already looking forward to it!”

Tsukishima wasn’t.

“See you soon, _Tsukishima sensei—_ “

Tsukishima ends the call. He's really not looking forward to it.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a weird tingling sensation under Tsukishima’s skin as he stood in front of Kuroo’s apartment. He knew that it was dumb to agree to Kuroo’s request that they should just drink in his apartment because he has a name to protect and he can’t be seen drinking outside. For all Tsukishima knows, he might’ve just tricked him to kill him, finally letting out his true colors after pretending for years.

Tsukishima pushed these thoughts away and proceeded to pressed the pretty electric doorbell. If he’s going to die, then he’s going to die.

Not even a second passed by when Tsukishima saw Kuroo’s face. The door was quickly opened as if he was just waiting beside it. Well, that could be possible, knowing Kuroo.

“Tsukki!”

“Just Tsukishima, please,” It’s been a while since Tsukishima last saw Kuroo but just as he thought, he didn’t even miss him a single bit. He was still using Tsukishima’s exclusive nickname that Yamaguchi made up when they were kids. It’s all Yamaguchi’s fault though. He gave Kuroo permission to freely use it just to tease Tsukishima. A good friend, he is.

“Come in, come in,” Kuroo said enthusiastically that leave Tsukishima no choice but to obey him. It’s already happening, there’s no backing out now. He removed his shoes and Kuroo led the way towards the living room.

His apartment looks nice. A little too nice than what Tsukishima expected. He’s informed that Kuroo has already been quite rich even before he entered the modeling industry. The whole place was nothing but pristine. Almost everything looked expensive and Tsukishima hasn’t seen a beautiful apartment like this for years. But of course, he wouldn’t say that to Kuroo, especially now that he’s already grinning smugly. What kind of grin would he even make if Tsukishima would praise his apartment?

“I bought some beverages,” Tsukishima was about to hand him the plastic bags when Kuroo gestured him to just place it on the coffee table that looks like the cost of it is as much as Tsukishima’s pay in a month. He carefully put it down and settled on the couch when Kuroo told him to.

Kuroo was busy shuffling through his kitchen, harboring different kinds of chips from his pantry. Tsukishima just watched him quietly after he removed everything from the plastic bag. Kuroo sat on the carpeted floor with his legs crossed. He looked relaxed and really happy that it makes Tsukishima’s guts twist in distaste. Kuroo’s smile is just fucking annoying.

“I didn’t know what to get,” Tsukishima explained briefly when Kuroo looked at all the beer in front of them. It was true, Tsukishima didn’t really know what to get since he was not a fan of drinking but he supposed that it’s embarrassing to go to Kuroo’s place without bringing anything. He’s paying him back, after all. And that’s how he ended up buying everything in the beer section with two cans each. It did cost him a lot but at least his debt to Kuroo would be paid.

Tsukishima tried to not care about his wallet but, man, it was hard.

“You sure you can handle all of this, Tsukki?” Kuroo asked while wiggling his eyebrows. Tsukishima replied nothing but his expressionless face staring right at Kuroo’s face. Everyone told him that that face always makes everyone feel awkward, but it seemed like even this doesn’t affect Kuroo Tetsurou because instead of laughing awkwardly like the other people, he even stared back at Tsukishima.

“I missed you and your impassive face,”

Tsukishima wanted this to be over already.

“How long has it been, my Tsukki? A year?” Kuroo scanned the beers and chose a certain flavor and opened two cans. He gave the first one to Tsukishima and the blonde hesitantly accepted it.

“It’s just been four months. You’re clearly overreacting, Kuroo,”

“Are you sure? It felt like a year without seeing you,” Tsukishima tips the can a little and let the weird taste invade his tongue.

“Well, it just felt like a week for me. I suppose that time is really short when you’re having fun,” Kuroo interrupted his own drinking just to look at Tsukishima with a horrible expression.

“Are you telling me that you’re having fun as long as you don’t see me?” He looked aghast but Tsukishima just smiled and slowly nodded, pouring liters of fuel to the fire.

He was waiting for Kuroo to get really pissed that he’ll just kick Tsukishima out of his apartment within a mere five minutes. That would be good. Kuroo might even cut ties with him and Tsukishima would be happy to do the same.

But instead of a fuming Kuroo, he saw a pouting one, and shit, Tsukishima’s head was throbbing upon seeing it. His face curled in pure disgust as he watched Kuroo continuously pout while shoving four more cans on Tsukishima’s lap.

“That’s your penalty for lying to me. I firmly believe that you’re always enjoying my company whenever,” Kuroo pointed at Tsukishima's face, “See? Your face is showing emotions!”

“I’m disgusted by your pout, Kuroo. I do not enjoy looking at you acting like a five-year-old,” He said truthfully but this doesn’t seem to bother Kuroo at all. He just scoots closer to Tsukishima and turns around, his back now leaning on the coffee table while his feet are pressed on the lower portion of the couch where Tsukishima is currently seated.

“Oh, tell me about your five-year-olds! You have a new class, right?” Kuroo swerved the topic and as much as Tsukishima wasn’t fond of talking to Kuroo, he still talked. He will never get tired of telling people how cute his students are.

After four cans of beer, Tsukishima was halfway through his story on how he tried to teach the children how to count up to twenty when Kuroo shoved another newly opened can into his hand.

“I already had enough, I’m good,” Tsukishima said as he tries to push the can away. Kuroo slapped his hand away then put the can on his lap so he wouldn’t have any choice but to hold the can.

“We’re going to finish all of these, Tsukki! It would be a total waste if we’ll not drink these tonight,”

“You could always drink it next—“

“Next time that we drink? Oh, heck, of course, yes, Tsukki!” Tsukishima’s eyes were wide as Kuroo happily wiggles his feet. He did not say that and he’s pretty sure that he’ll never say that. How the fuck did Kuroo turned the tables his way?

“Next day, Kuroo. What I mean is the _next day_ ,”

“Roger that. I’ll look at my schedule if I’m free the next day, and if I’m not, I’ll just barge into your apartment,” Tsukishima wanted to strangle Kuroo, right here, right now. How can he just twist Tsukishima’s words into his favor? This was unfair. There’s no way that Tsukishima would take part in Kuroo’s self-made appointment with the blonde the next day. He could drink all by himself.

“You don’t know where I live,” Tsukishima said with a small smile that was intended to annoy Kuroo. To let him know that Tsukishima still has his cards up his sleeve and Kuroo can’t just do what he wants.

But then Kuroo leaned forward and propped his chin on the cup of his palms with a cunning smile. “Oh, I think that you forgot why are you here in the first place, Tsukishima-kun. You’re paying me back for bringing you to your home safe and sound. Therefore, I do know where you live,”

If there was something that Kuroo was really good at, it was pulling Tsukishima’s nerves one at a time, all in full speed that Tsukishima could barely stop himself from cursing Kuroo endlessly. _Goddammit_ , Kuroo’s annoying. This pushed Tsukishima to just drink his fifth can in exasperation.

He heard Kuroo laugh but all Tsukishima could do was to roll his eyes because Kuroo was right. “I still have some evidence here. You wanna see?”

“No, I don’t want to,” Tsukishima closed his eyes and breathe deeply to calm himself. He already watched the video. Yamaguchi showed him and watching it once is already great torture for him. He would not like to see it again.

“Okay, here you go,”

_Oh. My. Fucking—_

_“Why the heck are you laughing, you prick? Get your hands off of me, let me show you how expensive my legs looks like even in these jeans,”_

Tsukishima hasn’t moved so fast in his life as he tried to snatch Kuroo’s phone but the older man has faster reflexes. That wasn’t the video that Kuroo sent to Yamaguchi. That was something else, something more embarrassing.

_What the fuck? What the fuck am I saying that night?_

Kuroo faces the screen on Tsukishima so he could see the video clearly and say that Tsukishima was humiliated as he sees himself do grotesque poses in a parking lot was an understatement. He could just descend now in embarrassment and he wouldn’t even care.

“There’s actually more. Wait,” Kuroo said and taps something on his phone and within a few seconds, another video was playing right in front of Tsukishima’s face.

They’re on an elevator and Tsukishima was singing _Humpty Dumpty_. His knees felt wobbly as he continues to hear himself sing in a drunken state. He’s not even in tune even though they’re always singing this in class. He just wanted to be sucked into nowhere and maybe reside in a black hole for all he cares. But the embarrassment didn’t end there and then the next video was playing. They were already in his apartment and Tsukishima was trying too hard to dance. Not just any dance, but he was attempting to perform a b-boy one. He definitely looked like a fool, there was no denying it. Tsukishima just wanted to die.

He was at a loss for words as all the videos finished playing. There were approximately twelve short videos and two long ones. He just felt like jelly, the one that's slowly being slurped, or maybe a cotton candy that was splashed with water. Tsukishima felt like dissolving.

“See? Every video is gold—“

“ _Please,_ shut up for a moment,” Tsukishima was trying his best not to cry because of the distress that the videos brought him. He doesn’t want to drink, really, but after seeing all those, his hands just grabbed another can and popped it open. Drinking all his share.

Eight cans were more than a lot for someone who’s not that experienced in drinking like Tsukishima Kei. He was already sprawled out on the white couch, hiccuping and his face flushed. He looked at Kuroo who drank a little more than him but the man doesn’t even look drunk at all. He’s just starting to become red.

“You suck at drinking,”

“It's because I don’t really drink,” Tsukishima spat out.

“I know,” Tsukishima closed his eyes and let himself breathe for a moment. His chest was already hurting from all the hiccuping that he just did. “Why were you really drunk that night though?”

The question hit Tsukishima more than he expected and suddenly, all the lightness that he was feeling was replaced with something heavy and ugly. He turned his body to the side, cheek pressing on the couch and facing Kuroo who was looking right back at him.

“You’re ugly,” Tsukishima said just because.

“My fans would disagree,” The blonde snorted, not believing that people would even idolize someone like him. Someone who never shuts his mouth, someone, very noisy, and has an atrocious laugh. And please, his smile doesn’t make him handsome, it makes him look like a fucking pervert.

“But seriously though, why did you drink that night when you know yourself that you can’t handle alcohol?”

The look on Kuroo’s face looked concerned that Tsukishima almost said it but he was able to stop himself last minute. “And why would I tell you?”

“Because you looked like you need help? I mean, I don’t know. We’re technically not close but you know that I care for you ever since, and until now,” Tsukishima was actually expecting Kuroo to say something awful like ‘because I’m cute’ or maybe ‘because I’m irresistible’.

He pressed his lips into a thin line, the different choices to be made dancing in his mind. He could tell him but it might end up awkward but it would be easier to just not tell him since just like what Kuroo told him, they’re not technically close. It’ll be easy to turn the topic into something else and the spotlight wouldn’t be on him.

But his brain was currently like a strainer and all his thoughts were like water. Nothing mattered, not the way his ex cheated on him, his confidence sliding down on a slope, his reasonings why it would be smart to not tell Kuroo anything, just the effects of the beer.

Tsukishima lay down completely as he stared at the chandelier and thinks that it’s unfair how the chandelier looked prettier than him. It was like a reminder that he’s not in his humble apartment but someone else’s, someone that he’s not really fond of but is currently thankful for because of what he did. And he could feel the owner’s presence beside him, quietly waiting for him to talk.

“I broke up with Itsuki,” The words were so heavy Tsukishima thought that his tongue would fall off. He first told this to Yamaguchi and he burst out crying really hard that his eyes were too puffed the next hour. This was the second, and even though a few tears escaped his eyes, Tsukishima thought that he was improving. He was able to stop himself cry a river and even if he still wants to, at least, it’s a start.

_A start to what?_

Tsukishima let out a sob then covered his face with his forearm upon realizing that everything that he’s doing is a step to start moving on from Itsuki. The Itsuki that he loved so much that it aches, the Itsuki who cheated on him.

“I— _why?_ You two were alright the last time I checked. Itsuki’s been looking good in his drama too,” Of course, Itsuki would look good, really happy even, since his leading lady is no one but Ikura. The drama’s literally a blessing for them, Tsukishima thinks as he continuously sobs.

“He’s with Ikura now,” Tsukishima croaked, his own voice failing him. It’s already hard for him whenever he thinks about it but saying it out loud feels like a punch in the gut. It was a lot harder.

“O-oh.. so you gave way for Ikura— wait, no, did he cheated on you?” Tsukishima didn’t say anything. He just let himself cry. And crying seemed a lot easier now that he’s a little drunk. “Tsukishima, please answer me,”

“Yeah, he did,”

_He cheated on me. Itsuki cheated and my replacement is Ikura. What’s my chance with him if it’s Ikura, a pretty and popular woman is my rival?_

“That fucker,” Kuroo hissed. “Who knows this?” Kuroo asked and Tsukishima could already feel his rising anger. This was a lot similar to Yamaguchi’s reaction.

“It’s just Yamaguchi and you. My family just knows that we broke up,”

“This should be told to the media—“ Tsukishima abruptly sat even though his head was pounding.

“No, you can’t tell anyone!” Tsukishima begged as he held the sleeve of Kuroo’s shirt. His tears were falling but the fear in his eyes was a lot noticeable.

“But why? You should get back to him, Tsukki. He cheated on you for fucks sake!” Tsukishima’s grip slowly loosened and he just covers his face with both of his palms.

Getting back at Itsuki actually sounds good. It might give him a sense of happiness if he’ll be able to avenge his broken heart and ego. It would be really great. But he saw Itsuki’s hardship all throughout, to reach where he’s currently standing now. Tsukishima was at his side and he cheered for him, helped him to memorize his lines so he could be that someone who is idolized by many. Itsuki worked hard for it and Tsukishima doesn’t have the heart to ruin everything that he poured his heart on.

“Just— just don’t Kuroo, please,” He told Kuroo with a small smile that broke his own heart. How could he even pull off a smile at a time like this? Was Tsukishima really desperate to protect Itsuki’s image?

“But, Tsukki, I can’t just watch you—“  
  
“Can you please pass me that? I’d like to taste that,” Tsukishima said with a small voice. Kuroo stared at him for a whole minute before grabbing the can and passing it to him. It wasn’t as cold as before in Tsukishima’s hands but the blonde tried to look interested in the beer. “What’s this? I can’t really read anymore,” He said with a chuckle, making Kuroo get the can from his grasp to read what’s written.

“It’s lychee flavored. That’s the new flavor that came out,” Kuroo seemed like stopping himself from saying something but Tsukishima was already thankful that’s he’s stopping himself. He doesn’t want to continue talking about that topic anymore.

“Oh really? Then I think I’d like to try something new,” Tsukishima tried to sound a little happy as he pops open the can and it sounded so fake that the frizzle of the beer couldn’t mask it.

  
—

  
Tsukishima greets back the students who tell him good morning. He wasn’t really in the mood because he once again did something wrong under the influence of alcohol yet Tsukishima knew his role here. He’s a teacher and he’s supposed to act as someone who can be the students’ role model especially that they’re still young and they’re at the stage of copying almost everything that they can see.

He quietly went inside the faculty room designated for the pre-school teachers. He greeted them as per usual and sat at his cubicle. Everything in this faculty room was colorful, much to Tsukishima’s distaste. It’s full of flowers and printed numbers from one to ten and of course, let’s not forget the alphabets pasted on the wall.

Years ago, back in high school, Tsukishima never imagined this. He never saw himself being a teacher, more especially as a pre-school teacher. He hated loud people but he guessed that it changed when they had a reach-out project in college. They spent the day in a small and humble daycare and he never expected to like it. There was something different in dealing with kids who are too pumped up with energy. It was cute and when the day ended, Tsukishima knew that he couldn’t be anything but a pre-school teacher. It was fun though, it’s like a hell of training to become a good parent.

After five minutes of sitting peacefully, Tsukishima stood up and went to the entrance to wait for his students. On his way, he saw Sugawara, who looked like he’s going to the entrance too. Tsukishima quickly bowed his head and greeted him.

“Your students are already old, Sugawara senpai,” Tsukishima said when they reached the vast entrance. Sugawara’s currently a grade-school teacher and the one who helped Tsukishima get to his feet when he was still new to teaching. Teaching kids in pre-school and grade school are completely different but Sugawara’s little advice truly helped Tsukishima. He was too elated and shocked when he saw Tsukishima in the school on his first day that he told everyone that they went to the same high school and that he can’t believe that the grumpy Tsukishima Kei is going to be a pre-school teacher. It’s hard to comprehend for Tsukishima too, actually.

“Mind your own business there, Tsukishima sensei. Go and just help your kids wear their shoes while I get to have conversations with mine,” Tsukishima shots him a glare. Sugawara loves his students as much as he loves himself that he brags them every time that he can, telling his co-teachers that his students are getting better in things.

“Mine's more adorable,” Tsukishima said, not backing down because he loves his students too and would not let them lose to Sugawara’s class.

“Well, some of your kids will be mine too when they become grade-schoolers. Gonna snatch them from you,” Sugawara stuck his tongue out that made Tsukishima roll his eyes. He was right but of course, Tsukishima wouldn’t just accept defeat.

“Well, they were mine first,” Tsukishima smirked and Sugawara was about to rebut when a little hand started waving at the blonde and all of his attention on Sugawara was diverted.

“Hi there, good morning, Haruka-chan,” Tsukishima said and the little girl bowed at him, saying her own greeting. Tsukishima helped her change into her indoor shoes and let her go into their classroom.

Tsukishima waited for all of the twelve children in his class at the entrance and helped them change their shoes. He greets their parents too and Tsukishima had no choice but to smile in front of everyone in the school. But even though he’ll be given a choice, he would still smile because it makes the children smile too. His cheeks hurting is nothing when he sees them happy.

When everyone was complete, Tsukishima entered his classroom and chaos welcomed him. The children were playing with everything available in the classroom, building blocks, puzzles, small and squeaky balls, some has a book in their hand even though they can’t read yet, they’re just happily looking at the pictures while trying to make up their own stories. It was cute but even though Tsukishima doesn’t want their fun to end, they still have class.

He clapped his hands that made everyone look at him. He told them to put everything back into its place so they can officially start their class and everyone quickly obeyed him. The kids were doing good and are a lot faster in cleaning up than they were in the first week of school. Tsukishima felt proud.

“Good morning, everyone,” He said before bowing at the children who are lined up perfectly.

“Good morning, sensei!” Oh god. They’re so energetic and their voice sounds so tiny that Tsukishima’s heart could just burst happily.

Their day started with the kids going to their happy place inside the classroom before singing some nursery rhymes in which Tsukishima did the piano. It was kind of mandatory for pre-school teachers to play the piano since it was the main instrument used whenever the kids sing. Another teacher joined their class too, Yuzuki, who did the simple dance for each of the songs.

Tsukishima watched them and felt his heart slowly getting full but when Aoto, the most cheerful child in the room requested him to play Humpty Dumpty, Tsukishima felt his soul draining. With a heavy heart and a fake smile (that he regretted doing so because he felt guilty), Tsukishima played it and everyone sang.

Humpty Dumpty wouldn’t sound the same for Tsukishima and he still wasn’t ready for it. Despite the kids’ loud singing, he could still hear himself sing it out of tune and in front of Kuroo.

Ah, shit. Awful memories started to flood his mind, starting from the hell sent videos up to the fact that he spent the night in Kuroo’s apartment the other night and spilled the thing about Itsuki.

_Fuck. Fuck._

He could vividly remember how shocked he was when he woke up on Kuroo’s couch and Kuroo was smiling widely at him and it was the most horrible thing that Tsukishima saw first thing in the morning in his whole life.

There were no videos taken that night, Kuroo told him but him sleeping in Kuroo’s place was just as frightful as modeling in the parking lot while drunk. Tsukishima couldn’t blame anyone but himself for letting his guard down and drinking way past the amount of alcohol that he can handle.

“Sensei, sensei, are we going to do the bookmarks now?” Hana asked him right after they finished singing and upon hearing this, everyone huddled to Tsukishima and asked him the same thing, all at the same time. This was almost enough to make someone’s ears hurt but Tsukishima has been doing this for three years already, none of his students’ noises could possibly hurt his ears now. He has been trained well.

“Of course, yes. Now if you could all just sit still as I get the materials so we could start making pretty bookmarks. Is that okay?” Everyone shouted in response and Tsukishima smiled at them after ruffling Hana’s hair softly.

The bookmarks turned out great and it showcased the children’s blooming talent in drawing. They drew sorts of things and Tsukishima was excited to look at all of it at home. Their school lunch went okay too except when Mina accidentally elbowed her bowl and the soup ended up on the floor. He let her clean it by herself as it was their school’s policy to teach the kids to clean up after they make a mess but Tsukishima quickly helped her when she asked for a little help. And before everyone went home, Tsukishima asked for their notebook and wrote the child’s performance that day to let their parents read it. He also gave them a sticker each after changing into their outdoor shoes that brought happy squeals and little jumps on the children.

Tsukishima’s day was full of joy well, except whenever he remembers the embarrassing things that he did, how he got wasted again after telling himself that he should not drink again, that shitty smile that Kuroo always has whenever they see each other—

“Good afternoon, Tsukishima sensei,”

_What the actual fuck._

“Please go away,” Tsukishima groaned as he felt his blood pressure slowly going up, up, up as he looks at Kuroo and his annoying smile.

“You might get fired though,” Kuroo said that made Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrow. “The sign behind you says that don’t say mean things to others. That’s a rule here right? And do you know what happens to bad boys who don’t obey the rules, _Tsukki?_ ”

Tsukishima was suddenly on high alert as Kuroo opens his mouth to answer his own question. This was bad. This is a school for fucks sake. Kuroo can’t just barge in and say inappropriate things. There are still students in the building and Tsukishima couldn’t let their minds be tainted. No, not at this early age.

“Oh my god, Kuroo, please don’t continue that, I’m begging you,”

“Oh, so there’s begging now, huh?”

“Kuroo!” The older man started to laugh and waved his hand off, gesturing that he’ll just wait for him at the school’s gate. Tsukishima was fuming that he needed to count up to ten to calm himself down.

He quickly arranges his bag, ready to go out of the school with the delicious thought of strangling Kuroo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much love to everyone <3


	3. Chapter 3

Every time that Tsukishima sees Kuroo is one of the happenings in his life that he’d rather not experience yet somehow, all of those are also one of his proudest moments. He’s proud of himself that his patience could stretch so, _so_ much that he’s still not pulling Kuroo’s hair to make him bald. Kuroo was like a patience tester to him, and every time, he’s just barely succeeding at it.

And Kuroo did test his patience for three consecutive days. He went to the school every four in the afternoon to bully Tsukishima in order to drink with him again. Tsukishima brushed him off hard since Kuroo wasn’t someone who could just be shooed away easily.

The first day made Tsukishima want to punch him. Kuroo was asking him non-stop but Tsukishima still had a sliver of patience as he walked towards the train station, not minding Kuroo’s presence at all. It was easy. All these years have honed him into someone who could ignore someone like Kuroo— especially Kuroo.

It shocked him when he saw Kuroo the next day but before the guy could ask him again, Tsukishima turned him down. Kuroo still asked him anyway, not minding what Tsukishima said. When Tsukishima was already at the gate of the school with Kuroo tailing behind him, they saw Sugawara who instantly recognized Kuroo. Not wanting to be that rude to Sugawara, Tsukishima stayed or was forced to by Kuroo who wrapped his arm around the blonde’s shoulder to prevent him from running away as the two older men talk.

On the third day, Kuroo went a little late and Tsukishima actually thought that he’ll stop coming, but much to his distaste, he saw Kuroo’s face again in the school’s vicinity. This time, Tsukishima just stared at Kuroo as soon as he saw him. It clearly wasn’t the type of stare that would make a person happy. With the way Tsukishima’s eyes bore holes into Kuroo’s skull, it was rather scary. He gave him the silent treatment with his stares that could make someone step away from him immediately.

Kuroo was still happy though and still talked a lot but Tsukishima didn’t bother listening. Before venturing further inside the train station, Kuroo grabbed the strap of Tsukishima’s bag to stop him and ask him again if they could drink together. Tsukishima just flatly said no and went on to go home.

The fourth day— there wasn’t _the_ fourth day, not like what Tsukishima anticipated. He honestly expected Kuroo at the gate again, wearing his signature smirk that Tsukishima thinks would be a great misfortune if his kids would inherit it. But there’s not even a trace of Kuroo that day. This made Tsukishima smile. At last. He was able to peacefully walk towards the train station and go home quietly. It was good although the thought of Tsukishima actually expecting Kuroo to be there was bugging him.

Tsukishima tried to not remember it, and just poured his focus on his job instead. He was able to do so just fine for a whole month. A month with nothing but work, kids, and a little bit of Yamaguchi’s drama. Kuroo didn’t show up for thirty-one days although he still sends good morning texts to Tsukishima every day without fail. There were no explanations but it’s not like Tsukishima needs one. He was better off without Kuroo’s bullying anyway.

But maybe Tsukishima’s luck ran out on the first day of October because Tsukishima saw Kuroo leaning on the school’s gate, wearing a black mask and even though he couldn’t see his lips, he was sure that he has his grin again— he always does whenever he sees Tsukishima.

“What do you want?” Tsukishima asked, straight to the point because seriously, he’s tired, and talking to Kuroo is on the second last thing that he wants to do— seeing Itsuki’s the first, of course.

Kuroo lifts the plastic bag that he’s holding that Tsukishima didn’t notice instantly. “Beer,”

“No,” The blonde said flatly. It was bold of Kuroo to assume that he’d like to drink with him again. He was sure that he made it clear that he’s annoyed with him, what should Tsukishima do to drill it into his head?

“Oh come on, Tsukki! You told me that we’re going drinking again the next day and that next day didn’t even happen last month!”

“Let’s see, first of all, I did not say that and I don’t really care. Second, it’s Monday, Kuroo and you want a pre-school teacher to get drunk? And lastly, please, it’s illegal to bring alcoholic beverages in a school,” Tsukishima looked at him tiredly and sighed. He just wants to go home.

“Okay, first of all, you said it and it’s literally recorded in my head. Second, we’re limiting ourselves to three cans today since we both still have work tomorrow. And lastly...” Kuroo sucked in a deep breath as he thinks of something to say. “Okay, that last part was clearly my fault, sorry. But your uniform looks cute though,”

Tsukishima curled his hands into a fist and reminded himself that he’s still in front of the school and there are still a lot of students and it might result badly if they’ll see him acting in a not-so-teacher-like attitude. It was effective. Tsukishima could probably do anything for the children.

“Oh, it’s Tsukishima-sen, say goodbye, Yukio-chan,” A woman walking past them stopped and Tsukishima quickly recognized her. She’s his student’s aunt and a literal sweetheart. The child beside her grumbles something first then bowed at Tsukishima. He figured that Yukio might’ve been saying something like goodbye with his eyebrows really furrowed.

“Goodbye too, Yukio-chan,” Tsukishima said while waving at him, pushing himself to smile for the last time today.

“Hello, Yukio-chan!” Before Tsukishima could stop the person beside him, Kuroo was already crouching to level his head with the boy. He pulled down his mask and offered his hand for a handshake but Yukio still has his head down. Tsukishima could imagine the kid’s eyebrows furrowing even more.

“Oh my god, are you— are you Kuroo Tetsurou?” Yukio’s aunt asked that made the boy look at Kuroo. Kuroo looked shocked at first and for a second Tsukishima thought that he would deny it and just run away but instead, Kuroo removed his mask completely and smiled at them.

“Yeah, how’d you know?”

“Yukio loves you! Look, Yukio-chan, it’s your favorite model!” Tsukishima swore that he saw sparkles in Yukio’s eyes as he looks at Kuroo and slowly, slowly, the corner of Yukio’s lips curled upwards. Tsukishima couldn’t comprehend what was happening when the quiet and always looking grumpy Yukio turned into a sweet and happy boy whose smile could blind everyone.

“I— I’m a big fan of yours, Kuroo-san!” Tsukishima watched Yukio excitedly executed little jumps and the way Kuroo’s eyes softened that Tsukishima almost thought that he’s about to cry.

“That’s really, really sweet, Yukio-chan. Do you want a hug then?” Yukio nodded vigorously and threw himself to Kuroo that he almost lost his balance. Yukio’s aunt brought out her phone and ask for Kuroo’s permission if she could take a picture of them which Kuroo agreed to. They took a couple of pictures and instead of thanking their idol as soon as the pictures were taken and just walk away, Yukio didn’t let go of Kuroo. He was holding Kuroo’s jacket as he told him stories of how he saw Kuroo the first time on a magazine that was on the tabletop that was his mother’s.

But suddenly, it was all too much for Tsukishima. He has been trying to make Yukio smile for months now ever since their class started but it’s the first time that he finally saw Yukio’s real smile. He looked cute and it just warms Tsukishima’s heart at another level.

“Oh no, Yukio-chan, its already late, your Dad might be waiting for you now at home,” Yukio’s aunt said that made the small boy frown and his usual expression came back, eyebrows furrowed with a little scowl on his face. “You should say goodbye now to Kuroo-san. I’m afraid that we’re bothering him too much,”

Yukio slowly removed his grasp from Kuroo’s jacket and stood up straight. He bowed his head to Kuroo and let out a soft, “Thank you for your time, Kuroo-san,”

“It’s nothing, really, I’m hoping to see you again, Yukio-chan,” Kuroo said then finally stood up. Upon hearing Kuroo, Yukio quickly hugged his aunt’s legs and the three adults could hear him cry. They all looked alarmed but Kuroo looked conflicted the most. “Wait, did I— did I do something wrong? God, I’m sorry—“

“No, no, please I don’t think that it’s your fault,” The woman interjected as she tried to rub Yukio’s back to make him stop crying. “Come on, Yukio, why are you crying?”

There came some incoherent sentences from the child but she seemed to understand. Tsukishima wanted to crouch down too and ask Yukio but he knew that they’re not close. Tsukishima would even think that he’s avoiding him if not for his aunt saying that Yukio’s attitude is just like that.

“I’m sorry, he’s just having his tantrums,”

“Why is he crying though?” Kuroo asked her but then crouched to pat the boy’s head. “Can I do something, Yukio-chan?”

“I want to see you again,” He said that made Kuroo smile softly.

“You’ll see me again, don’t worry,” Kuroo chuckled and faced Tsukishima and the blonde felt something coming, something awful. “But that’s only if Tsukishima-sensei would let me,”

_Fucking Kuroo. I want to stab him._

“Would you let him, sensei?” Yukio turned to him and Tsukishima could feel his world turning upside down. What did he even do in his past life that his misfortune right now is just too heavy?

With the most realistic fake smile that he could muster at the moment, Tsukishima tried his best to push out the words that would normally never leave his mouth. “Of course yes, Yukio-chan. Kuroo-san will come here again so you don’t have to cry, alright?”

“You heard that? I’ll come back here and you’ll see me again,” Kuroo told him and just like that, Yukio stopped crying. It was as if his eyes were a faucet that was turned off. A couple of minutes passed before Yukio and his aunt went on their way with Kuroo and Tsukishima waving goodbye.

Without any kid in his sight, Tsukishima slapped the back of Kuroo’s head, not so hard but still not that soft either. He was more than irritated. It was unfair that Kuroo used Yukio as a reason to come back when all Tsukishima wants is to not see him again. He missed the days of the past month where there was no Kuroo who is too pushy.

“I guess that I’ll be back here again, Tsukki-sen!”

“I’ll murder you,”

“Oh yeah? But you told Yukio-chan that you’ll let me so you can't kill me,” Kuroo was talking in a sing-song voice, and god, he was so good at irritating Tsukishima Kei. He just doesn't want to disappoint the kid.

The blonde didn’t reply and just walked towards the train station. Their walk was unusually quiet that it almost felt as if Tsukishima was just alone. But unlike the past three days where Kuroo was bugging him, the older man did not stop in front of the train station, instead, he walked with Tsukishima inside and waited for the train too.

“Yukio.. that kid, what’s he like in class?” Kuroo asked without looking at Tsukishima as they both stand behind the yellow line as they wait for the train. It took a few seconds before he started to talk. He still weighed whether it was worth it to talk to Kuroo about his class but then he remembered that he already did so it’s not like something would change.

“He’s the aloof type of kid. He doesn’t really interact with his classmates unless he needs to but he’s smart and....” Tsukishima continued to tell him about Yukio. How the kid is actually one of the smartest whenever they do activities. His artworks are not below average— heck, there’s not a single artwork from Tsukishima’s class that is below average.

Kuroo just nods his head as he listens to Tsukishima. This went on until they both sat on the train beside each other. Tsukishima told him about how he taught that he was avoiding him, that he never saw his parents even once, it’s always just his aunt. He told Kuroo that Yukio likes vibrant colors so much and that it’s quite funny to see Yukio frowning while wearing his bright yellow bag and neon green cap. He couldn’t leave out his rubber shoes that are color pink that Tsukishima loves to see because Yukio seems so happy whenever he’s wearing them.

“Hey, Tsukki, it’s your stop,” Kuroo reminded him and Tsukishima muttered a small thanks before heading out of the train. Kuroo still tailed behind him and as soon as he got out of the train, he walked beside the blonde and asked a few more things. “Tell me about this Haruka-chan that you just mentioned,”

“Oh, Haruka-chan. She’s a really bubbly girl and a friendly one. She even tries to talk to Yukio from time to time and she likes to....” Tsukishima was once again lost in his own story as he tells Kuroo how cute Haruka is. Her nickname has always been Haru but then they have a boy named Haru in the class so she gave way and made herself comfortable with being called Haruka instead of her usual nickname. She’s also one of the kids who has the biggest smile whenever Tsukishima gives them stickers at the end of the day.

The way to his apartment was already too familiar that he didn’t need his full consciousness to be able to remember the streets that lead to it. He was too busy talking about Nari, the girl who already knows how to count up to one hundred although she boasts it to her classmates every now and then. And it actually feels nice to talk about his students to someone other than Yamaguchi and Sugawara. Tsukishima even forgot how annoyed he is with Kuroo as they walk towards his apartment but it all went to the drain when he finally realized that _they_ were heading towards his apartment.

Tsukishima never felt so dumb in his life when he just realized this when they’re already in front of his apartment’s door.

“You cunning fuck,” Tsukishima said to Kuroo who was now on the verge of tears, laughing heartily. “I can’t believe myself,” He whispered to himself. 

“I can’t believe that you’ll actually fall for that too!” Kuroo cackled but Tsukishima just shot him a glare. “Guess that you’ll have to welcome me to your home?”

Tsukishima knew that he didn’t have any choice. Kuroo was already there and there’s no way that Kuroo would go away now. He hated how easy he fell to this. It was annoying. Kuroo’s annoying.

He didn’t say anything but he unlocked the door and used his other hand as a shield to protect his passcode. His passcode was made by Yamaguchi, his best friend who always wants to be remembered by all means.

“878554,” Kuroo said that quickly made Tsukishima look at him, shocked. “It’s Tsukki, isn’t it?”

“How the—“ Tsukishima stopped himself from talking when he remembered that Kuroo already went into his apartment and he’s aware of his passcode too. He rolled his eyes at him and Kuroo was smiling so much that Tsukishima just wants to stitch his lips together. He made himself note that it’s time to change his passcode later when his apartment is Kuroo free.

“Wow, I missed your home, Tsukki!”

“Don’t act like you’ve been here many times, Kuroo-san,”

“Drop the -san, Tsukki!”

“Call me Tsukki again and I’ll choke you,”

“Oooh, kinky,”

“Choke to death, Kuroo. Death,”

Kuroo didn’t mind him and sat comfortably on the couch like it’s his own. Tsukishima’s apartment was a lot simpler than Kuroo’s but he never got ashamed of it. He figured that didn’t need the excessive things and it’s a lot easier to clean.

“Grab some chips! And please don’t shower yet so we’ll be both uncomfortable with the whole day’s sweat,” It was gross but he wanted this to be over already and it will be much better if he’ll be able to go straight to sleep right after showering. Tsukishima went to his kitchen and grab two bags of chips before sitting down beside Kuroo but still leaving a few feet between them.

Kuroo excitedly opened two of the cans. The beer wasn’t cold anymore but Tsukishima didn’t care. He gulped a mouthful amount and it felt wrong when his throat didn’t burn as much as it did when they first drank beer together. Was he getting used to the taste of the alcohol? But his last beer was a month ago. It didn’t make sense.

“Ask me why I was so busy last month,”

“I don’t want to and I’m not actually interested why,”

“Well, I did three photoshoots last month and each took three days but god, the last one? It took us five days. Almost a fucking week, Tsukki! Imagine smiling non-stop every day,”

The sigh that left Kuroo’s mouth sounded heavy and Tsukishima figured that he was tired. Three photoshoots are a lot and Kuroo needs to make love to the camera every time and Tsukishima got chills when he remembered that lots of people were watching Kuroo as he poses. He just knew that he couldn’t do that too, not when a lot of people are looking at him.

“I can guess,”

“But the last photoshoot was so cool though. It was tough but I’m actually excited to see the results,”

Tsukishima swallowed the last of the beer and tipped his head back so he could stare at the ceiling. “Was it for a magazine?”

“Kind of but it’s actually my first photo book!” Tsukishima flinched at the sudden uproar from Kuroo. He looked happy, smiling from ear to ear until it slowly turned into a small one, a more genuine one then he looked at Tsukishima. “I know that it’s not _that_ much but I’m still happy. I’ve worked really hard for it,”

It felt like it was just yesterday when Kuroo told him about wanting to become a model instead of continuing his job that has enormous pay and a lot stable. Tsukishima could remember himself laughing at Kuroo but saying nothing about it. Kuroo has been in the industry for almost three years now and he’s slowly but surely getting his name painted on every person’s mind.

“You deserve it,” Tsukishima muttered and reached for his second can. He felt no ounce of regret upon verbalizing his thought for a long time now. Kuroo did work hard for it and Tsukishima knew that Kuroo wasn’t doing this for the money, he already has those. This was just Kuroo Tetsurou, a person who also likes the camera but unlike Tsukishima, he’s a lot photogenic.

“Thank you, Tsukki,” There was silence at first when the blonde just nodded at him but it was broken when Kuroo raised his can. “A cheers for me?”

_Cheers won’t hurt me._

“Okay,”

A soft clink was heard and both men started to drink their second helping. Kuroo mainly talked about the photoshoots that he did last month along with a few sneak ins of his annoying remarks. Kuroo told him about a few things about his photo book that were supposed to be confidential but he told Tsukishima that he trusts him not to leak anything.

“Then they built up a faux beach and I was so sure that the sand that they used was real sand! Someone was tossing to me as I continuously spike the ball and he was actually good although...” Kuroo was rambling about the few pages of his _ that has beach volleyball as its theme. The way Kuroo tells the story is just too exaggerated and normally, Tsukishima finds it plainly annoying but then Kuroo started to demonstrate how he spiked the ball. The man even stood up and put his beer down to act like he was spiking. “I mean, my fans would see it so I needed to jump a little higher and try to look handsome even though I’m spiking but seriously, it was so easy, given that I’m already—“

“Don’t, Kuroo. Don’t ruin it. Just tell me about the theme for the cover,” Tsukishima asked, making Kuroo sit with his legs crossed, clearly excited. Hearing Kuroo’s stories was a lot better than hearing him praise himself. It’s like a punishment whenever Tsukishima hears it.

“Are you sure that you’re ready for this?” Kuroo wiggled his eyebrows at him but Tsukishima didn’t reply. When five seconds passed, Kuroo started to talk again. “It was just actually simple. They made me wear black long sleeves and tight pants and when I say tight, it’s really tight! My first four buttons were unbuttoned revealing my oh so good chest and a peek of my stomach making the people inside the room, especially the girls, try to stop themselves from devouring—“

“No, fuck. Just stop. I don’t wanna hear it anymore,”

“Oh come on! The shots were really good. I look—“

“Please—“  
  
The ring of Tsukishima’s phone was obnoxiously loud that it made both of them flinch. The blonde quickly scrambled to get his phone from the bottom of his bag as Kuroo stood to show him a few of the poses that he did that he thinks would be picked out for the cover.

It was continuously ringing and Tsukishima was starting to get irritated because his hands couldn’t feel the familiar shape of his phone. He doesn’t want to resort to his last option, which was emptying his bag to see what he’s looking for on the wide-area of the floor. But five poses from Kuroo and a few seconds later, Tsukishima was able to hold his phone that was ringing loudly.

It was an unregistered number, but Tsukishima knows it very well, intimately, even. He already deleted it yet the combination of the numbers still remained ingrained in his mind. There was no doubt that it was Itsuki’s personal number.

“Do you think that it’ll be— hey, you okay?” No words came out of Tsukishima’s mouth, all he did was to stare at his phone. Kuroo moved closer to him and poked his bicep to somehow get his attention. “Hey, Tsukki, you can answer it, you know?”

“O-oh, yeah, answer,” Tsukishima said absentmindedly but still did nothing. Does he even want to answer the call?

Totally weirded out by Tsukishima spacing out, Kuroo peered on the screen. Upon seeing the unfamiliar number, Kuroo looked at him. Tsukishima peeled his eyes off his phone and stared back at Kuroo.

Their eyes met and Tsukishima knew that Kuroo knew who it was too. The whole apartment was silent except for the continuous ringing of his phone. Tsukishima and Kuroo were just looking at each other’s eyes, both weighing their next action. The lights were on, making it easier for Tsukishima to see what was Kuroo’s eyes are saying. He looked hurt, his expression screaming at him to not answer the call.

But he doesn’t have to put Kuroo’s feelings into consideration when it comes to this. Kuroo knew better. Tsukishima already told him years ago. It’s not happening. The two of them are not happening. He likes Itsuki more than him.

“I’ll answer this first. Excuse me, Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima almost stumbled as he went to his small balcony, leaving Kuroo in the living room holding the empty can tighter than he did earlier. His hands were almost shaking as he pressed the green button.

“Hello? Tsukishima?” The feeling inside him was foreign. It felt like his organs were all rambling inside as soon as he heard Itsuki’s voice. He felt like crumbling.

“Yes, it’s me,” He managed to say as the tears formed in his eyes. Staying calm and stopping himself from crying seemed so untrue and all he could do was to let himself be.

“Oh, hi. Well, I’ll just cut to the chase. Some of your things are still here in my apartment. I’m thinking about giving it back to you through a courier,” It was like a punch in the gut. A part of him was hoping that Itsuki would start to apologize since he never did ever since they last saw each other, there were no texts either. “Is that okay with you?”

Tsukishima wants an explanation, an apology, not his things but he tried to compose himself. Itsuki doesn’t need to hear him crying because of him, because of what he did. “Of course, yes,”

“That’s good. Then I’ll have Jen arrange it so expect it to arrive at your house any time soon,” The silence that enveloped them was eerie and the night breeze on Tokyo’s never felt this cold. Tsukishima almost considered grabbing a jacket although he’s not really sure whether his shivering was brought by the wind of by Itsuki. “Uh, that’s all, I guess. Thank you and uhm, stay safe,”

The call ended.

And fuck it stung. He propped his elbows on the railing and the tears were rolling down faster than he expected. His chest felt like it’s being filled with cotton soaked in water for hours. It was so heavy that he feared his legs would give up from the weight that he’s bearing.

It still hurts. Of course, it still hurts. It hasn’t been that long and the first thing that Itsuki told him was shipping his things back to his place. It was maddening that Tsukishima felt his hand curling into a fist. All the negative emotions that he felt in his whole life fused into one big bucket of water and everything was thrown into him, leaving him wet as this seeps into his clothes, into his skin.

He leaves a high sense of dignity around him all the time whenever he’s in public and this was one of the things that Yamaguchi always tells him to stop doing. It makes him more intimidating than he already looks like that other people couldn’t even afford to approach him. But Tsukishima wants it that way, especially now because there's no way that Tsukishima would even want to meet other people when his own boyfriend, the person whom he knew for years still hurt him. Strangers might do worse and it leaves Tsukishima aching.

It was all Itsuki’s fault. He knew himself that he did everything that he could. They do not quarrel that much and Tsukishima thought that he enjoyed their coffee dates in each other’s apartment but it seems like he’s the only one who did enjoy everything that they did.

He wiped his tears with an angry scowl on his face. The glasses were on the way and Tsukishima was pushed to remove it first before wiping his tears with his fingers. His sight was blurred and all he could see was Ikura’s and Itsuki’s face when he caught them.

_Crack._

“Fuckin—“ Tsukishima had to deeply breathe three times to not punch himself for breaking his glasses. It was a good thing that he knows his apartment by heart that he didn’t trip over something until he came back into the living room. “My glasses are broken, Kuroo-san. I should get my extra pair in my room. Can you wait?”

“Whatever you need, Tsukki,” Kuroo’s voice was still sad and Tsukishima wondered if Kuroo’s expression was still the same before he answered the call. He didn’t want to see it anyway. Maybe not seeing Kuroo for a minute was the silver lining of his glasses being broken. _Good enough._ Tsukishima thinks as he closed his door.

He rummaged through his cabinet and found his other glasses. He wore it and was about to go out but then he remembered his conversation with Itsuki just now. He sat at his swiveling chair before going to his messages and pressing his and Yamaguchi’s thread of conversation, ready to tell him that he’s going to call him later when his door was suddenly opened.

“Wow, what the fuck, Kuroo?”

“I guess that I couldn’t really wait,”

“It’s rude to go inside someone’s room without their permission,”

“And it’s also rude to leave a guest alone,”

Tsukishima stood up and closed his phone, tossing it on his bed. “I literally asked if you can wait and you said—“

“I did not say anything about agreeing in waiting. I said whatever you need, not yeah, I’m going to wait,” Kuroo was grinning and Tsukishima could feel himself wanting to cry again but now because of frustration brought by Kuroo Tetsurou. “But seriously, I’d like us to go back and knock five more cans as we talk about what just happened if you want to share it,”

His right eyebrow rose then walked towards his door to open it a little wider. “You told me that we’ll just have three cans each,”

“A few more wouldn’t hurt us, would it?”

“It’s Tuesday tomorrow. I have a class to teach, pre-schoolers to be exact,” The thought of having his class seeing their teacher having a hangover was mortifying and Tsukishima would never want that. He might be scolded if caught and Sugawara would definitely tease him all day.

“But it’s easier to talk with more beer,” There it was again. The genuine look on his face that Tsukishima couldn’t choose whether it’s irritating or soothing.

But Tsukishima could do some talking. He needs to do some talking so he moves past Kuroo after closing his door and sitting on the couch as he cracked open another bottle.

“Okay, five more cans,”

“Aw, Tsukki!” Kuroo ran to him then hugged his neck from the back, making the blonde struggle to breathe. He adamantly tried to remove Kuroo’s long arms while cursing him with a little, just a very little smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all great happiness! Love lots <3


	4. Chapter 4

**_From: Yamaguchi Tadashining ✨_ **

_Come over?_

_Tsukiiiii_

_Pretty please?_

_Gonna wait for u, ok???_

_Donut forget ur mittens and ear muffs or u'll die ~_

Tsukishima just wanted his Saturday to be quiet. All the tiredness that he acquired the whole week was just dawning on him, and it sucks. This was why Tsukishima tries to just sleep for the majority of his Saturdays. Sundays are already occupied with planning for the next activities and polishing them as well as trying to watch the series that Yamaguchi recommended. The series was mediocre, making him sleepy that he ends up sleeping on the couch and waking up in the middle of the night then having some trouble sleeping in again, and in the end, he’ll go to his work with that faint eye bags. Tsukishima actually considered not continuing the series, but Yamaguchi pushes him to, and he looked so happy whenever they talk about it— not that Tsukishima really likes it.

Still suffering from fatigue, Tsukishima pushed himself to take a bath before putting on some clothes. He put on his tri-colored hoodie on top of his tee, then finishing it off with a coat that almost matches his pants’ color. Tsukishima made sure not to forget his mittens and earmuffs, just like what Yamaguchi advised him. He doesn’t intend to die this young. It’s still early for him.

Yamaguchi’s house was a station farther than the school that he’s working on, but at least Tsukishima doesn’t have to squish himself in the train since it’s not yet rush hour. He was able to sit close to the train door, and Tsukishima could just grin at how lucky he is.

Just like how it is in his apartment, Tsukishima’s feet know the way perfectly to Yamaguchi’s. His strides left shoe prints on the thin pile of snow. Tsukishima doesn’t really get it, how the snow isn’t too much in Tokyo, but it’s colder than it is in Sendai sometimes.

“Hi, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi beamed, but Tsukishima just lazily waved at him then went inside on his own. He was sure that Yamaguchi understands him, and it’s actually his fault that Tsukishima looks like a walking zombie instead of sleeping soundly at his home.

“I want to sleep,” He said, plopping on the couch with his belly first.

“This will wake you up! Come on, taste it,” Upon hearing it, Tsukishima’s soul really woke up. He turned his head and saw Yamaguchi holding a tray of muffins with a big smile.

He went to the sink first to wash his hands then got ready to eat. Muffins for late lunch are alright, and no one can change Tsukishima’s mind. He grabbed one and devoured it in just two minutes. Moaning out of satisfaction wasn’t necessary, but Tsukishima let himself. Yamaguchi has been improving with his baking skills.

“You like it?”

“Heck, yeah,” He swallowed everything with a gulp of water and faced Yamaguchi excitedly. “Can I take a few homes?”

“I baked three dozen, Tsukki. You can have a whole tray if you want,” Yamaguchi puts the tray back at the counter, leaving five on the plate on the coffee table for them to eat at the moment. Tsukishima was thankful that Yamaguchi’s always baking more than he could eat himself because it benefits the blonde. A tray of muffins could feed him for a whole day, and he’ll not even complain. It’s free food.

“Is that a new shirt?” Tsukishima asked when Yamaguchi laid on the floor, facing Tsukishima along with his whole body, the side of his head propped on the heel of his left palm.

“You noticed? I got it from the store somewhere in the mall. Cute, right?” Just when Tsukishima was about to answer, Yamaguchi wiggled his legs excitedly. “But you! Tell me about you! What happened the past weeks?”

Tsukishima frowned at him. There was really nothing interesting that happened to him the past weeks. Kuroo going weekly to the school wasn’t really interesting, but Tsukishima figured that it was a lot better to tell than Minai eating her green crayon.

“Kuroo’s becoming a regular in the school. He walks in on the entrance every Friday afternoon. It’s annoying,”

Yamaguchi never looked intrigued in his life than now. “Oh, really? What’s he doing, though, still asking you for a drink?”

“It’s bullying, Yams. Please correct your verbs. But to answer your question, no, he stopped doing that,”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he really did,” Yamaguchi’s reaction now was almost as similar as Tsukishima’s that day when he went on a Friday afternoon.

He didn’t tell him anything or what’s his purpose other than bullying Tsukishima, but he just waved at him and called him by his nickname. But when Yukio quickly hugged Kuroo’s legs, he realized that Kuroo was just there to fulfill his promise to the kid. This caused the other students to ask Yukio out of curiosity until everyone was suddenly talking to Kuroo.

Yukio even told that Kuroo was his friend in a very proud and smiley manner that Tsukishima wasn’t sure if it was really Yukio. A commotion started where everyone got jealous that Yukio has other friends besides them. Tsukishima thought that this would cause a commotion and that the kids will group against Yukio, but before Tsukishima could interfere, Kuroo asked them if they would want to be his friend. And maybe the kids thought that it was better to gain another friend than have any conflict with Yukio out of jealousy.

“So yeah, he became best friends with my class in a flash,” Yamaguchi cooed, and yes, Tsukishima found it quite adorable, but of course, it’s just the kids, though; the kids are the only cute ones, not Kuroo.

“Does that mean that Kuroo always drops by every Friday?” Tsukishima shrugged, not really in the mood to continue the topic since it involves that rooster head. “Come on, Tsukki, tell me more, or else you’ll not have any more muffins. I swear, I’ll not give you some,”

That was a lie. Yamaguchi can never not give Tsukishima muffin, and Tsukishima knows that even though Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to be aware of it. But with a sigh, Tsukishima sat and grabbed another muffin before talking. “Well, Kuroo’s been going every Friday for quite some time now. One— wait, no, I think it’s almost two months already. There’s not much to say, though. He just literally talks to them, and they sometimes play. I don’t even know how he gets past the guard,”

“Maybe the guard’s his fan,”

“Maybe, but that seems impossible. The school’s guard is like in his forties,”

“Tsukki, Yukio-chan is four, yet he’s a fan of Kuroo,”

“Okay, fair point,” Tsukishima shifts and chomps down the half of the muffin. “Then he just nods or waves at me. It’s weird,” It really is. Tsukishima was used to Kuroo trying to hug him every time that he sees him. Or maybe even if he’s not trying to hug him physically, Tsukishima would always see it in his eyes.

“Oh, is that so? Wait— _oh!_ Oh! Are you missing Kuroo-san’s clinginess, Tsukki?” Tsukishima wanted to throw up. He hated how Yamaguchi could assume things easily, even though it’s impossible to happen. Just like now. It’s actually kind of annoying.

“I’m leaving. Give me my muffins,” Tsukishima stood up, but before he could take a step, Yamaguchi stopped him and threw himself onto him, hugging him and suspending him from leaving.

“Okay, we’re going to stop talking about Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima gave a little huff before sitting down again. He didn’t stop Yamaguchi when he hugged him tighter.

It’s been a while ever since he let Yamaguchi get a little closer to him, physically, like letting him hug him from time to time. It was weird at first, but Tsukishima got comfortable with the skinship with his best friend as time went by. All thanks to the kid in his first year of teaching whom he asked why does he always hug his classmates. The kid responded to him with a big smile, telling him that he just wants to let his friends know that he loves them since they’re his friends. It was cute, and just hours after that, Tsukishima went to Yamaguchi’s apartment and asked for a hug. He could still remember how shocked, yet happy Yamaguchi looked like that day, and it’s one of his favorite memories.

“What do you want to talk about?” Yamaguchi asked quietly, and for the second time, he shrugged. He just honestly wants to sleep because it’s Saturday, and tomorrow it’s going to be Sunday, and the next day would be Monday already. Monday means work, and Tsukishima still wants to rest, maybe up until the whole week.

“I don’t know. Something serious?” Silence enveloped them for quite some time that Tsukishima almost dozed off. But then Yamaguchi leaned onto his shoulders and spoke.

“Did Itsuki gave you back your things already?” Tsukishima’s eyes flew open, and he looked at his friend with wide eyes. What a horrible topic to open upcoming from the person who knows what he has been through because of Itsuki. “What? You told me that you want to talk about something serious!”

Tsukishima deeply breathes and stopped himself from stuffing a whole muffin inside Yamaguchi’s mouth to shut him up. There are just times that Tsukishima hates Yamaguchi as much as he hates feeling crumbs of bread on his bed after trying to have breakfast in bed.

“I kind of hate you,”

“You don’t, Tsukki, and we both know it!” Yamaguchi slightly giggled, making Tsukishima push him away from him. His head was already hurting, and now he could feel his chest hurting too. “But seriously though, did he gave everything back to you?”

There was a beat of silence, but even without telling it, he knows that Yamaguchi already knows the answer. “Not yet,”

“He’s a fucking jerk,”

“I know,”

“Do you really not want to tell this to the public? I could make a dummy account and spread the news,” Yamaguchi said, but Tsukishima’s decision wasn’t even swayed a little. He doesn’t want to ruin Itsuki and Ikura’s career. The fact that he’s also a teacher and has a reputation to protect was an addition to his reasons. He doesn’t want the entertainment world’s fans to know his identity as the rising star’s ex.

“My answer’s never going to change, Tadashi,” Tsukishima knew that Yamaguchi probably wants to smack his head because of his stubbornness, but Tsukishima couldn’t see himself ruining someone that way. He’s not that low.

Yamaguchi crossed his arms and stared at the ceiling with a scowl. Tsukishima copied him, minus the scowl, and just kept his impassive expression even though he could feel himself slowly crumbling again.

“You really chose the wrong person that time, Tsukki,” Tsukishima wanted to believe him. He really does. But remembering the happy memories that still hasn’t been tainted that much by Itsuki’s cheating makes it hard to believe what Yamaguchi said. It was because he had fun when they were still together, and it’s hurting him. “Tell me, why the fuck did you chose Itsuki over Kuroo? Tell me, Tsukki, please because I swear I’m so close in beating that shit up,”

“Why?”

_Why did I choose Itsuki over Kuroo?_

“Yes, Tsukki. Why,”

Tsukishima did his best to dig his brain and scrape all the memories that he could remember. That was years ago, and Tsukishima wasn’t really sure if he could remem—

_Oh. Everything started when I was in college._  
  
His first day in Tokyo, it was newly arrived and still quite anxious about living alone in a foreign city. He went a little early before college starts to accustom himself a bit to the new surrounding. It would be a problem if he’ll get lost on the first day and be late, so Tsukishima figured that he’d familiarize himself first in the heart of Tokyo.

He made sure to bring a handful of money in case he gets lost and needs a cab to go back to his apartment. It has always been important for Tsukishima to be ready at all times. It just feels wrong when he doesn’t prepare himself for something that has the possibility to happen. But seeing someone whom he knew just from volleyball in high school was unexpected, and Tsukishima wasn’t clearly ready for the sudden reunion in a macaron store.

He reintroduced himself as Kuroo, Nekoma’s volleyball captain when Tsukishima was still the first year. Tsukishima just gave an awkward smile and slightly bowed at him to at least show some respect to his senior. Kuroo looked the same, but there was also something different. His hair was still in its natural color, but the style was far from before. This was a lot neater, with his hair brushed back slightly with the use of fingers. And taller.

“It’s been years, Kuroo-san,” Tsukishima said, torn between talking like he’s not interested so the man could just leave him already or if he should not do so because that would seem disrespectful.

“I know!” Kuroo then wrapped his arm around Tsukishima that made him frown at the sudden contact. They haven’t seen each other for years, and he doesn’t even know if this man could still remember how to read his first name at least.

The man clearly didn’t give a fuck, though, because he even gave Tsukishima a field trip around Tokyo. Although he didn’t really ask for it, it was somewhat helpful to Tsukishima. He got to know a part of the city now, but he knew that he fucked up when he accidentally told Kuroo to which University he going because Kuroo happily cut him off with a _“me too!”_

Tsukishima couldn’t even flatly refuse Kuroo’s kindness when the older man told him that he would be glad to accompany the blonde in his first few days so that he wouldn’t look like a loner. He told him that Yamaguchi’s going to the same University as a hint to tell him that he doesn’t really need Kuroo, but the man was unbelievably dense. He just smiled then tried to remember Yamaguchi’s name and how he looks.

It wasn’t entirely annoying, but Tsukishima wasn’t that comfortable either. A day with Kuroo, a person that he barely knows except for a few practices and real volleyball matches, was actually okay. He thought about worse things that might happen to him on his first day in Tokyo, but then Kuroo came. That was a lot better than getting lost.

“Thank you for today, Kuroo-san,” He said when they were about to part in the train station.

Kuroo waved his hand with a gentle smile. “No worries, Tsukki. My number’s in your bag so text me later so I can save yours too,” Tsukishima wanted to say no, but he ended up nodding before going in to wait for the train.

Upon going home, Tsukishima arranged his things and did not forget to text the number written on a small piece of paper in his bag. Kuroo quickly responded with a new proposal of going out again tomorrow to venture more into Tokyo. With nothing to do, not having Yamaguchi here for a couple of days more until he arrives, and wanting to know the city more, Tsukishima agreed.

But he clearly did not agree to get stuck with Kuroo for five more days of going out non-stop.

The man was pushy, and Tsukishima just couldn’t refuse him directly. He doesn’t know whether Kuroo’s just kind or if he just doesn’t have any friends to pull into his outrageous adventures in Tokyo. It’s a good thing that Yamaguchi arrives the next day.

Or maybe not.

Because Yamaguchi warmed up to Kuroo a lot faster, Kuroo just bought them a cup of fruit shake and paid for their bus fee, and Yamaguchi instantly became best friends with him.

This was unexpected. Especially when Kuroo really did went to pick up Tsukishima then Yamaguchi from the next door so that they could go to the University altogether. Kuroo’s suggestion to be with Tsukishima for his first days did not happen because Kuroo did it for months.

  
The month of seeing Kuroo’s face except for Sundays made Tsukishima accept his fate. Kuroo would be an addition to his and Yamaguchi’s weekly sleepover every Friday in Yamaguchi’s apartment. Unwanted, but okay. His jokes always make Yamaguchi crack up, and at first, it was making Tsukishima smile too, but three hundred jokes later, the effect of Kuroo’s jokes on Tsukishima was nowhere to be found.

Tsukishima was able to survive his first year in college and went to his family’s house first for summer break. Yamaguchi going with him was normal since the boy also lives in Sendai. What was truly unlooked for was Kuroo visiting them just to show them pictures of the fruit of him spending a godly amount of money in Shibuya.

“Just admit that you miss us,” Tsukishima snickered when the three of them are seated on the sidewalk in front of Yamaguchi’s house with popsicles in their hand. Tsukishima saw the look that Kuroo had on his face when he stared at him. It was soft and soothing somehow, but Tsukishima should’ve known that Kuroo has an innate urge to always bully his friends.

“I only missed Yamaguchi, Tsukki. I would never miss you,” Kuroo stuck his tongue out, and Tsukishima could still feel years later the hollow like feeling that he felt that day. Kuroo was joking, and he knew that.

“Then you two can be all lovey-dovey there,” Tsukishima stood up and removed the dust on his shorts. He heard Yamaguchi exclaim, but Tsukishima didn’t really care. “I’m heading back. I’m sleepy,”

“Tsukki!” Kuroo yelled and ran after the blonde, leaving Yamaguchi behind. The older man grasped his wrist, making Tsukishima stop in his tracks. “I was just joking, okay? Of course, I missed you too. You’re literally my best friend,”

Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrow. “And Kenma-san and Bokuto-san?”

“Uhm, okay, Kenma and Bokuto’s both in the first place, although Kenma would surely not care about it, I just know that he cares,” Kuroo then bumped Tsukishima’s shoulder with his own. “You’re in the second place, hm? Don’t get so gloomy now. It doesn’t suit you,”

“I am always gloomy,” Tsukishima countered with a flash of rolling his eyes perfectly like an expert.

“No you’re not,” Kuroo said with a smile, and Tsukishima actually thought that they’ll just head back to Yamaguchi’s house to come back for their lone friends, but then Kuroo pushed Tsukishima hard enough that the blonde lost balance. He stared at his strawberry-flavored popsicle that laid on the ground, quickly melting under the heat of the sun.

Slowly, slowly, Tsukishima felt the spark of anger to Kuroo, who was looking at him innocently like he didn’t just intentionally sabotaged Tsukishima’s popsicle. The frown on Tsukishima’s face was so concentrated that he felt his forehead hurting. He faced Kuroo and was about to curse his existence when a popsicle was shoved in his mouth. A chocolate popsicle. Kuroo’s popsicle.

Tsukishima choked. Hard.

“Tsukki and I just indirectly kissed, Yams!” Kuroo shouted happily as he ran closer towards Yamaguchi’s house. Tsukishima could still remember how hard he pulled Kuroo’s hair as soon as he got closer to him. Yamaguchi had a good laugh, and despite the chaos that afternoon, they sent Kuroo to the train station with a smile that night.

His second year was a bit free of annoyance. Kuroo was graduating already, making him busy that they could only see each other once in a while. It was a little weird at first, with Yamaguchi the only one he’s with every lunch. Although Kuroo goes to their usual table every Thursday every lunch, it was different from having him almost every day.

Their time was lessened, but Tsukishima thought that it was okay. They have their own lives, after all. And looking after him and Yamaguchi is not even Kuroo’s errand to do. They’re all doing just fine, and graduating as smoothly as possible is everyone’s priority. A chunk off of their hang out time wouldn’t really hurt.

And it was all worth it when Kuroo graduated. Everyone was happy, and Tsukishima even bought a bouquet for him while Yamaguchi bought three tubs of ice cream as a graduation gift. It was alright, great even. But Kuroo graduating would mean that there’ll be no daily annoyance every lunch. It made Tsukishima kind of.. sad. But he was pretty sure that Yamaguchi was feeling the same way too. Yeah. He is.

Tsukishima’s sadness only happened in a fleeting moment because right after Kuroo got accepted to a company that he was applying for, the older man went back to going to Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s apartment to drive them to the University.

“You look very blondie today, Tsukki!”

“I am blonde, Kuroo-san,”

“Have you ever considered dyeing your hair blue?”

“No, so please just drive. I don’t want to be late,” Tsukishima wore his seatbelt, and Kuroo obliged him. Yamaguchi’s classes don’t start until nine, while Tsukishima’s starts at a bloody seven am sharp.

Then the fourth year came along with Itsuki. A quiet person who was smart, who was passionate about the theater club. The person that confessed to Tsukishima even though almost everyone was scared of the blonde because of his strong— shitty personality.

Yamaguchi told him that he doesn’t like him that much, and Tsukishima said the same thing. But Itsuki showed perseverance, and Tsukishima found himself slowly, slowly falling. Until Itsuki asked if he’d like to go to the University together every day, and with the desire to know Itsuki more, Tsukishima told Kuroo that he could stop wasting his gas to drive all the way to Tsukishima’s apartment to the University. 

And he should’ve seen it coming. With the way, Kuroo comments non-stop that they’re always alone in his car every morning. When Kuroo compliments his perfume and when Kuroo chooses to walk right beside him even though there’s plenty of space. But Tsukishima wasn’t good at that, making him act awkward when Kuroo confessed to him the day he asked him to stop driving him to school.

“I like you, Tsukki,” His heart was hammering. Pulse beating faster than usual, and then was this annoying buzz in his chest.

_Annoying. Annoying. Annoying._

“I think I like Itsuki,” Tsukishima said without preamble. “I’ll be heading first now. Be careful in driving,” He walked away from Kuroo and started to go with Itsuki every day.

He was always feeling uneasy, thinking that he hurt Kuroo so much with the way he turned him down that easily. But Tsukishima could only see him as a friend. A close friend. And diving into a relationship that he wasn’t sure if it would even last for months was too risky. Kuroo was just a friend. Plus, he liked how timid Itsuki is. Although Tsukishima still feels scared whenever he thinks that Kuroo would never see him again, he enjoys the comfortable silence between them.

But he saw him on a Saturday night in Yamaguchi’s house for their weekly hang out. He acted normal, minus the fact that he became more talkative and annoying that he always picks with Tsukishima. It was okay at first, then Tsukishima thought that maybe this was Kuroo’s revenge because he turned him down.

“I bet that Itsuki doesn’t even know how to—“

“Shut up, Kuroo,” Tsukishima said before Kuroo could say an assumption to Itsuki. Even though all were just small and petty things, it was getting out of hand, and Tsukishima was getting pissed by this. “Don’t say anything about Itsuki—“

“Why? You’re scared that Itsuki wouldn’t—“

“Kuroo shut the fuck up! Stop assuming anything! You don’t know Itsuki, okay? He’s a great person. You don’t have the right to tell those things,”

“I like you, Tsukki. I like you! I’m the one you should be wanting...” Kuroo was crying, and Tsukishima was fuming with anger. Yamaguchi just came back from the convenience store with more beer but stopped upon seeing Kuroo crying and Tsukishima on the verge of crying too.

“But you’re not the one, Kuroo,” Tsukishima said that made Kuroo abruptly stand to get out of Yamaguchi’s apartment.

“What happened, Tsukki? Why was—“

“Nothing, Yams. I-I’m alright,”

Tsukishima wasn’t at the very least alright.

They did not communicate for months. Up until Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s graduation happened. Tsukishima was more than sad, but he knew that he deserves this when he hurt Kuroo like that. The man has a reason to get mad at him, and Tsukishima actually thought that he would not see him again, but when he went back to his apartment to grab his things to go home for a while in Sendai, Kuroo was waiting with a basket of strawberries.

“You look very blondie today, Tsukki,” Kuroo said with a smile that made the Tsukishima do the same.

“I am blonde, Kuroo-san,” Kuroo chuckled and gave the basket to Tsukishima as he grabbed the keys from Tsukishima’s hands to open the apartment himself.

“Ah, maybe that’s why you look like shit,”

Oh. He was still annoying. But that’s better than not being on good terms with him.

The day ended with Kuroo telling Tsukishima that he’ll be trying to get into the modeling industry. Tsukishima laughed at the thought, but Kuroo’s physique is good, and he has a great face, so even if he wants to crush Kuroo’s dream by telling him that he would not succeed, Tsukishima couldn’t bring himself to. He told him that he’ll become a pre-school teacher who made Kuroo cackle more than he ever did in his life. Tsukishima frowned as Kuroo continued to laugh but still smiled when Kuroo tapped his shoulder and told him that he’ll be a good teacher.

A few months later, Tsukishima finally accepted Itsuki as they helped each other build their careers. Tsukishima helped him with his script readings while Itsuki made sure that Tsukishima’s things are complete for the next day. It was good. Maybe even perfect if Kuroo’s annoyingness wasn’t always on his radar.

Kuroo stayed as his friend even after turning him down although he doesn't text him plenty like in the past. But maybe it was better that way since he has Itsuki. While Yamaguchi supports Kuroo with all of his heart without even sparing some for his best friend’s boyfriend. But Tsukishima completely understands. Yamaguchi doesn’t like Itsuki for him, and Tsukishima knows that Yamaguchi’s choice for him has always been Kuroo.

But Kuroo was busier now. They barely even see each other, and when they do, Kuroo never stops teasing Tsukishima that made the blonde not wanting to see him again. It was a love-hate _(double the hate)_ relationship between them, but Kuroo seemed unbothered and just floaty all these years.

“Because I don’t like loud and annoying people,” Tsukishima answered Yamaguchi after a few minutes of rethinking everything that happened in the past.

Yamaguchi snorted and threw a small piece of muffin at Tsukishima’s face. “You’re literally teaching children, Tsukki. Literal demons. Very chatty and annoying,”

“But they’re—“

“Yes, they’re adorable but have you seen Kuroo in his last magazine? He’s hot, and I’m so proud,”

“Uhm, ew,” Tsukishima said with a disgusted expression. He just couldn’t picture Kuroo as someone whose hot that could make Tsukishima swoon. Kuroo was a lot more of a normal model.

“He’s our friend, Tsukki! Come on! You should hype him up sometimes,”

“His head would get big. I clearly do not want that. His normal state is already terrifying,” Tsukishima said as he watched Yamaguchi walk towards his kitchen only to be back with a bottle of white wine and two wine glasses. “We’re drinking?”

“Yes, so you could rethink if you still hate loud and annoying people,” Tsukishima doesn’t need rethinking. He’s sure that he still hated them until now. Yeah. He’s sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ɛ> love <3 Ɛ> lots <3


	5. Chapter 5

Tsukishima was crouching as he helped Yuta change into his outdoor shoes. The kid was holding Tsukishima's shoulder as support in balancing himself, and there's just nothing more adorable than that in Tsukishima's perspective. Yuta thanked him before running towards his mother, whom Tsukishima bowed his head on to with a smile upon seeing her waiting for her son.

Most of the kids in his class already try to be as independent as they can, starting from changing their shoes, but Tsukishima still wants to be there at all times. Some still need help, and Tsukishima would gladly help them because he's just literally in love with his class— every kid, really, but of course, his class gets a little special treatment. It can't be helped.

"Sensei, sensei," The small hand that lightly tapped his back was almost unnoticeable, but Tsukishima has already memorized every single kid's voice in his class that hearing that made him quickly look at his back. There, Haruka stands shyly, grasping her bright pink little backpack.

Tsukishima offered her a genuine smile, signaling her to continue talking. "Yes, Haruka-chan?"

"It's gonna be my birthday next Saturday," She said, and Tsukishima moved a little closer to her, quite intrigued. "Haruka's having a party,"

"Really? That's great, Haruka-chan. Are you inviting your friends?" She smiled widely and nodded at him with enthusiasm. Tsukishima just loves how Haruka's eyes light up whenever they talk about her friends.

"I'm inviting all of my classmates and you too," Haruka abruptly put her bag down and tried to open her bag but unfortunately couldn't do it. "Can you help Haruka, please?"

"Of course, of course," Tsukishima tugs a little harder at the zipper that was acting up and successfully opens the bag. Haruka quickly went through her stuff and pulled out an invitation. Just based on the invitation itself, Tsukishima was sure that the party would be hello kitty themed.

"This—"

"Haruka-chan!" Tsukishima turned his head towards the source of the annoying human that just spoke. He could only sigh upon seeing Kuroo. He walked towards them, and Tsukishima could see how excited Haruka was when they fist-bumped. "How are you, little princess?"

"I'm okay, Kuroo-san!" She replied energetically, and Tsukishima thought if Haruka was sucking his energy because he suddenly feels tired upon seeing Kuroo.

"Hello there, Tsukishima-sen," Kuroo greeted, and as much as Tsukishima just want to ignore him, he couldn't. Not with Haruka in between them.

"Hi," He replied. "But its Thursday today, aren't you supposed to just go every Friday?" The blonde asked. The thought of Kuroo going to the school twice a week was more than horrifying.

Kuroo patted Haruka's head softly before looking at Tsukishima. "I have work tomorrow, so I figured that I might just swing by today. Although it looks like I came late," There were just a few kids around, and Haruka's the only student in Tsukishima's class. Most went home already. Kuroo did come late, but it wasn't his fault, and Tsukishima wants to tell him. He knew that Kuroo's busy, but deep inside, Tsukishima appreciates how persevered Kuroo is to go every week just to say hi and play with his class a little.

It was actually okay, besides Kuroo going back to his old routine, which was bugging Tsukishima to walk with him just until the train station. A month ago, Tsukishima thought that Kuroo was done with him, that he'll not bother him again, but then after another month, Kuroo started bullying him again. Maybe Kuroo's self-control just lasts within a month, and truthfully, Tsukishima wants to elongate it along with his patience strictly for Kuroo.

"Oh, so you'll not come by tomorrow?" Haruka asked with sad eyes. Kuroo shook his head while pouting a bit. "But I haven't brought your invitation because I thought that you'd come tomorrow,"

"Invitation for what, Haruka-chan?"

"It's Haruka's birthday this Saturday, and my parents are throwing a party for me! We already brought my dress, and I'm so excited!" She said, truly pumped up, but then she pouts, probably remembering that she hasn't brought the invitation.

"You're inviting me to your party?" Kuroo asked, and Haruka enthusiastically nodded. "I'm so touched, Haru-chan! I could still go even though I don't have an invitation,"

Haruka shook his head, clearly not wanting the idea. She faced Tsukishima, hope evident in her sparkly eyes. "Tsukishima-sen, Haruka doesn't want to make Kuroo-san go to my party without an invitation," She said, and Tsukishima just nodded, not really sure where this was going. Does Haruka want to just give Tsukishima's invitation to Kuroo and not him? That would be alright, but Tsukishima would probably not be able to stop himself from getting jealous. "And I don't want to give this invitation entirely to him too. So can Haruka... is it okay if this would just serve as your invitation?"

"Can you repeat that, Haru? Sensei couldn't really understand it,"

"Uh..." Haruka looked like she was collecting her words for a minute before she scrambled through her bag to get a pencil. She went to Kuroo and used his back as she writes something on the invitation. "Kuroo-san, how do you write your name?" She asked, then Kuroo helped her. It went on for a few minutes as Haruka got a little confused with writing the characters that she hasn't encountered yet.

She showed the invitation to the two men, and Tsukishima finally understood what she meant earlier. The invitation now has Tsukishima sensei and Kuroo-san written on it. "Kuroo-san's your friend, Tsukishima-sen, so Haruka thinks that it's alright if you share,"

Tsukishima didn't like the idea of Kuroo's name written next to his, but how could he say no to Haruka when she's looking at him, hopefully? Who lets this kid have such beautiful eyes that it's almost enough to make Tsukishima envious?

"Of course, yes, Haruka, it's alright," He said before smiling at her. The little girl hugged him tightly then proceeded to do the same with Kuroo. As soon as she handed the invitation to Tsukishima, her mom arrived to pick her up. They waved their hands as they say goodbye until they couldn't see Haruka anymore.

"To the train station?" Kuroo asked as soon as Haruka left. Tsukishima was too tired to argue, so he just nodded at Kuroo.

"Be out in ten minutes," Tsukishima said, then went back to the faculty room to arrange his things. He said his goodbyes to his co-teachers, including Sugawara, who wiggled his eyebrows when he saw that Kuroo was waiting for Tsukishima. The blonde just looked at him with bored eyes, actually thankful that Sugawara did not ask if something is blooming between the two of them, just like what he did a few days ago.

Their walk towards the station was really just a walk. Kuroo's not even talking, and it was somehow making Tsukishima feel awkward for some reason. It just doesn't sit well with him whenever Kuroo's quiet, even though he doesn't really want to hear Kuroo's noisiness. Well, Tsukishima was great at contradicting himself.

"Are you sure that you'll be able to go?" Tsukishima asked, and it was a mistake when he looked at Kuroo because the man was looking back at him, looking like he's about to cry with his mouth agape.

"You— you talked to me first!" Kuroo said happily before encircling his right hand to Tsukishima's arm. This caught Tsukishima off guard and tried to brush him off, but Kuroo was just doing whatever he wants. "Ah... I'm so happy. My Tsukki is back,"

"Kuroo," Tsukishima stopped from walking, making the other man do the same. Kuroo looked at him, and Tsukishima was freaked out with how close their faces were. They were at the same height, after all. "I'm going to break your arm if you'll not release me,"

"Ooohh scary," Kuroo was definitely mocking, there's no doubt. But he removed his arm and contented himself from just being beside Tsukishima. The blonde rolled his eyes at him before starting to walk again.

"But seriously, can you go?" He asked, and it took Kuroo a few minutes before answering.

"Yeah, I can,"

"No work?"

"Do you want my schedule?"

"Do you want a punch? Because I'm asking you a decent question, so please answer so that I could tell Haruka if you can't go," Tsukishima was aware that Kuroo's always busy upon seeing Kuroo's face a lot more on social media. Kuroo's getting more famous, and he knows that it means more work. He just doesn't want Haruka to have high hopes that Kuroo will attend her party when he really couldn't. It might end up ugly right at her party.

"I do have work, but I'm going. I already told her, and I'm not a fan of breaking promises, so I'll go," That made Tsukishima at ease. Well, he was already at ease right from the start knowing that Kuroo never breaks his promises. He wasn't sure if Kuroo was still the same person years ago, making him want to double-check. And Tsukishima thinks that nothing really changed. He was the only one who chose to change.

"Have a safe trip," Kuroo said when they reached the train station. He had his hands tucked in the pockets of his coat, and Tsukishima saw how being a model suits Kuroo so much in a fleeting moment.

"You too,"

"You can take the invitation home,"

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, "Well, obviously, 'cause it's mine,"

"My name's also there, so..." Kuroo stepped closer, towering Tsukishima for a few centimeters. "It's _ours_ , Tsukki,"

He was more than thankful that he could stop himself from leaning closer to Kuroo despite his competitiveness that has always been on point. He was so good at restraining himself, and Tsukishima intends to keep it that way.

"I'm going home," Tsukishima said and turned his back at Kuroo, walking further away from him. He heard the older man calling out his name, but Tsukishima chose not to acknowledge it. Kuroo was starting to get dangerous again, and Tsukishima doesn't like it.

—

The next day came with his students asking why Kuroo would not be able to go see them. Tsukishima explained it to them, and luckily, the kids were able to understand it just fine. But a little ruckus happened when Haruka boasted that she saw Kuroo yesterday. The others, especially Yukio, got jealous that they almost fought with Haruka. However, it was settled when Tsukishima told everyone that they'd see Kuroo at Haruka's birthday party.

A Friday without Kuroo's presence felt weirder than a Thursday with him. But Tsukishima didn't have the time to think why the hell would the lack of Kuroo's presence bothers him than having it. He already wants to go home, yet he still needs to buy a gift for Haruka.

He went to the mall and tried his best to pick the best gift for a five-year-old girl. There were bountiful choices, and Tsukishima had a hard time choosing between a set of hello kitty toys and a bundle of storybooks. It was a tough decision, but Tsukishima ended up choosing the storybooks after he convinced himself that she would enjoy the storybooks more than the toys. Well, he hopes so.

Upon going home, he quickly wrapped his gift and topped it with a pretty pink ribbon. He slept after showering, not really ready for the next day full of people. Although the party would be full of his students, Tsukishima was pretty sure that he'd end up at the side, looking like the loner that he usually is.

And he was definitely right as he just sat at a lone chair with a cup of juice in his hand. The party was held inside the house, and there were a lot of unfamiliar faces. It was reasonable, though, knowing that Haruka's like a social butterfly. Tsukishima was sure that she's the type of kid who could easily make friends at a playground. And god, the party was full of moms too. Tsukishima just wanted to go home already right after he gave Haruka's present to her.

The weather was a lot better than he thought. It wasn't snowing that much, and the house's heater was doing a great job. The kids played some kind of game, making the whole house almost vibrate because of the children's laughter and screams as they got excited. Every kid that loses receives a consolation, and it just made Tsukishima think how much did Haruka's parents spend on this party. Sure, they look wealthy with their spacious house and massive veranda, but the decorations for the party costs like it would be able to suffice Tsukishima's rent for a month.

It was too noisy that it led Tsukishima's mind to drift to Kuroo. The party started an hour ago, yet Kuroo was still nowhere to be found. It wouldn't be so long before his students notice that Kuroo still hasn't come, and Tsukishima was sure that if ever Kuroo would not come, it will break Haruka's heart. Kuroo's been really close with them, and Tsukishima knew that the kids really like him— he still refuses to believe that they like Kuroo more than him.

Another 30 minutes had passed without Kuroo when Haruka's mom told everyone that it's time to eat. While sitting at the end of the table and eating quietly, Tsukishima's pocket grew heavy.

He quickly finished his food and went out without his beanie on. Kuroo not going might be a good thing for him— who was he kidding? His students might get mad at him too after he told them that Kuroo's definitely going, and that's the last thing that Tsukishima wants.

His phone weighted like a kilogram as he entered his password. His fingers were almost going numb when he pressed Kuroo's contact.

_It's for the kids. It's alright. It's for the kids._

But fuck, it was so hard. This wasn't even pride at all. He's just worried that Kuroo would definitely talk about how Tsukishima texted him first for a whole month. There was no way that the blonde would want that.

He was ready to stuff his phone back into his pocket without sending Kuroo anything when he heard the children's scream from the inside of the house. Tsukishima smiled. When did he become like this just for his students?

It only took him a minute to compose a short message and send it to Kuroo, but Tsukishima felt like he just spent a lifetime. He probably swallowed a copious amount of his saliva as he nervously hit the send button.

Satisfied with the single message that he made, Tsukishima went back inside and was welcomed with the children chattering while eating. Even though they're loud, they felt serene. This was one of the things that he likes about the kids. It was their never-ending energy, their smiles, and how they approach things. They taught him things that Tsukishima never thought of doing, and as far as it goes, all of it gave him nothing but great things.

One of his co-teachers who was also invited talked to him, although he wasn't entirely sure if it was a good thing or not. He's been teaching for years now, and it was supposed to heighten his socializing skills, and yes, he did, but just with the kids. He was still aloof even with his co-teachers. Sugawara's the only exception since he's known Tsukishima for years, and he's just good at prodding in with his life.

They watched the children get a little too energetic as Haruka's dad arranged an inflatable pool full of colorful plastic balls. There were plastic balls everywhere, and Tsukishima just found himself picking up the balls around his seat.

  
When he realized that what he's doing was basically useless since the kids just keep on throwing the plastic balls around, he stopped and looked at his phone.

  
_30 minutes. Why hasn't he even read it?_

  
Tsukishima excused himself once again, not able to identify what he's feeling. He was sure that he's annoyed, but he was also worried— worried that Kuroo would break his promise to his students.

  
He walked past the open gate and whipped his phone out again, dialing Kuroo's number. This was weird. It's been years ever since he called Kuroo, and it was unintentionally bringing him back to the past when texting and calling Kuroo was just like a hobby that he does whenever he's bored. When talking up until midnight, both of them have classes the next day wasn't a problem. When they—

  
"Tsukishima-sen," He instantly looked down and saw Haruka, who was wearing a crown with hello kitty's face imprinted on it. She was holding the hem of Tsukishima's shirt with her little hand, and it was freaking cute.

  
"Haruka-chan, it's cold out here. You don't even have your gloves,"

  
"Is Kuroo-san still coming?" She asked, already on the verge of tears. Tsukishima doesn't know what to tell her. "Everyone that I invited came, except for him," Haruka pouted. Tsukishima wanted to punch Kuroo.

  
"Ah— I'm calling him, look," He showed her his phone with Kuroo's number on the screen. It was just constantly ringing. Kuroo's not even answering nor reading his text, and this was hurting Tsukishima's head.

  
He hated waiting, god, he distastes it. He wasn't good with it, and all that waiting does was torturing him. And he just wants Kuroo to pick up his phone and tell him that he'll not come instead of making Tsukishima and his students hope.  
"Oh, oh, he answered, sensei!" Haruka told him, and Tsukishima quickly turned his phone towards him and to his ears.  
"Kuroo—"

  
"I'm coming. Fuck. I'm just— shit. Wait, I'm sure that I'm— wait, I'm still finding the house," Kuroo was panting, and just based on his voice, Tsukishima knew that Kuroo was running. There was a surge in his chest as he looked around the streets, expecting to see Kuroo.  
"You know Yukio-chan's house, right?"

  
"Yeah, yeah,"

  
"Just turn left on the first street from that house, then you should see me. I'm outside the house," He instructed but got no response. All he could hear from the other line was sounds of running. "You should wait for him inside, Haruka-chan. He's close," Haruka nodded happily and skipped as she went back inside the house.

  
Every second was giving Tsukishima a different kind of rush. He didn't know why but he liked the little bubbles of adrenaline in his stomach. Tsukishima just placed the phone near his ear, not hearing anything but feeling convinced that the call was still ongoing, that Kuroo was still _there_.

  
"Tsukki!" Tsukishima looked to his right and saw Kuroo running at full speed. He stared at him, watching him as he got closer to him. Kuroo was sweating that a few strands of his hair were sticking to his forehead. Unconsciously, Tsukishima grabbed his handkerchief and grasped it tightly. He ended the call as soon as Kuroo slowed down his pace and went back to walking, getting closer to the blonde.

  
"Here," Tsukishima gently threw the handkerchief to him, which the latter easily caught. "You look like you compete in a marathon,"

  
"I was running for five minutes, Tsukki!" Kuroo complained as he wiped his face. "You sure that this is clean?"

"Yeah. I'm not gross like you," Tsukishima could still vividly remember Kuroo giving him a towel after the three of them— him, Kuroo, and Yamaguchi participated in a three on three volleyball match in their neighborhood. Sweating profusely, Tsukishima accepted it without any doubt and wiped it across his face before seeing the grin on Kuroo's face and realizing that it was actually dirty. He still hasn't forgiven Kuroo for that one.

"Oh, you still remember that?" Kuroo asked with such joy that Tsukishima was almost disgusted by how happy he is.

"They're waiting for you," Tsukishima said, avoiding the question. He could feel Kuroo walking behind him, still wiping his face and even his nape. Then suddenly, Tsukishima stopped, and his brain was on full alert as his mouth rebels. "Thank you for coming,"

"Well, it's her birthday," Kuroo said, chuckling a bit. It was a blessing that Tsukishima has his back turned on Kuroo because his face was twisting, wanting to stitch his mouth shut. That was dumb, and why was he even thanking him? It's not even his party, for fucks sake.

All of Tsukishima's students ran towards them and surrounded Kuroo. Some of the companions of the children even fawned at Kuroo upon recognizing him. Tsukishima just sat at his old seat as he watched Kuroo steal the spotlight from the birthday girl, although Haruka looked like she didn't really mind.

When the rush of Kuroo's presence finally melted down, everyone huddled at the center to sing Haruka a happy birthday song. Tsukishima couldn't help but smile as he saw the kids having fun. It feels good to be with them, not just inside the classroom. He feels like he's seeing a different side of them.

Kuroo sat beside Tsukishima, silent and still. Despite the clamor, Tsukishima felt quiet and at ease.

"Haruka told me that she couldn't see my invitation,"

"Sad," Tsukishima said, not really caring about what Kuroo just said. The older man pouted so bad that Tsukishima regretted seeing it through his peripheral vision.

"So that means the invitation that she gave is now officially ours,"

Tsukishima furrowed his eyebrows. He's not going to give it to Kuroo. No way.

"No,"

"Come on, Haruka told me that. It's a conjugal property now,"

"We're not married, Kuroo," Tsukishima deadpanned.

"But we can be," Oh god, Tsukishima just wants to get out of here. He felt plenty thankful when Haruka's mom interfered with their conversation that Kuroo's the only one enjoying ask him to get some food. Kuroo politely refused her, telling her that he already ate, but as soon as she walked away from them, Kuroo groaned.

"I haven't eaten since last night. I literally ran here right after the photoshoot ended,"

"She just invited you to eat," Tsukishima stared at him, perplexed. "and you just refused,"

"Duh, Tsukki. I'm freaking late, and there's no way that I'm going to eat here alone. That's embarrassing," Tsukishima wasn't able to stop himself from laughing, and for a moment, he didn't care about whatever Kuroo would think or would say right after. He just took it all in. Kuroo's dumbness and unnecessary excess care for his image that he'll choose to starve rather than embarrass himself.

"Ugh, I think I'm dying because of hunger, so please don't laugh," Kuroo pleaded with a pout.

Tsukishima didn't mind him and still laughed, but he ended up treating Kuroo to a simple dinner right after the party, preventing him to die because of hunger.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy reading! ☆⌒ヽ(*'､^*)

It was freezing cold when Yamaguchi stormed into Tsukishima's apartment. It was entirely normal ever since they started to live a little far from each other after being neighbors for the majority of their lives. Tsukishima doesn't really mind too, especially now that school is on a holiday break for Christmas and New Year, except when Yamaguchi went to him with a big smile, telling him that he wants the three of them to have lunch.

"No," Tsukishima told him as soon as he heard it.

"Come on, Tsukki. It's been years ever since the three of us had lunch," Tsukishima wanted to make excuses, which he could clearly do, but then Yamaguchi hit him with an expression that he only does when he truly wants something. "I miss it, you know,"

With that, Tsukishima knew that their discussion is over, and Yamaguchi's the winner.

He does have a soft spot for the people that he cares about. It's the complete opposite of what the people assume, but there was no point in proving strangers that they're wrong. What's important was that the people that he cares for knows that.

And that's how he ended up getting ready in his tiny room. For some reason, he felt a little nervous. Yamaguchi was right. It's been years. Tsukishima couldn't even remember the last time that he went out for Lunch with Kuroo and Yamaguchi. They did this plenty of times in college, and it was one of the most normal things to do back then.

But now...

Tsukishima stopped thinking too much and just wore his clothes. He wore three layers of clothes with constantly reminding himself not to overdress because it was just a normal lunch.

He opened his phone and looked at the group chat that the three of them had ever since college. Kuroo made it, and it was very lively at first until they started to have their own jobs and became busy. Tsukishima seldom engages in this; he just silently reads whatever conversation Yamaguchi and Kuroo's having at the moment.

Tsukishima slides up to the first chat box since the other day and reads the succeeding ones. He reads it from when Yamaguchi invites Kuroo to have lunch with them that Kuroo easily agreed to up until to the new messages from Kuroo, telling them that he's still on his agency's building. Yamaguchi answering with a gif of a dog that's nodding.

_**tsukki the meanie:** I'm on my way._

There was no doubt. He still hates the nickname that his two friends made for him in this group chat. He tried to clear it numerous times, but Kuroo and Yamaguchi were adamant about making it Tsukishima's permanent nickname. He stopped after realizing that removing it was useless when they just set it up again.

With a huff, Tsukishima went out of his apartment and walked in the small streets leading to the train station. He pays for his ticket and sits at the corner quietly, putting on his headphones as he ignores everything around him.

He almost fell asleep if not for the sudden vibration from his phone. It was a notification from their group chat. He swiped and opened it, lazily reading the contents of the new messages.

_**tetsurou row row ur boat:** I'm gonna be a little lateee (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞_

_**yummy yams:** whyyyy ?? :’ <_

_**tetsurou row row ur boat:** they want 2 take more pics idk idk i think they're in love with my face ~~ _

_**yummy yams:** ehhh_

_then can we just go to u and just wait?_

_**tetsurou row row ur boat:** (ง ื▿ ื)ว_

_that's ok, i guess_

_i'll go tell them that you two will be visiting_

_**yummy yams:** what abt u then, tsukki??_

If there's one thing that Tsukishima would never want to experience, it will be waiting for someone in a restaurant all alone. It doesn't matter if it's just for a few minutes. He just doesn't want to look like a person whose date didn't even bother to meet him.

_**tsukki the meanie:** I don't want to look like a loner in a resto so okay_

_**yummy yams:** holy fuck is that really u tsukki !!!???!?_

_σ(￣、￣〃)_

_**tetsurou row row ur boat:** give our tsukki back (＃`Д')_

_(`皿´＃) !!!!!!!!!!_

_**tsukki the meanie:** shut the fuck up, or else i'll just go home_

Tsukishima locked his phone right after sending the message and didn't even bother to look at their reply. He got off the train at the station near Kuroo's agency. He knew the location well, even though the last time that he went was almost three years ago.

It was snowing faintly, but it was cold enough to make Tsukishima walk faster to reach where Kuroo is. It was for the warmth in the building. Yes, yes.

Upon telling his name to the person at the reception, he was told of Kuroo's whereabouts. Tsukishima walks and almost rolls his eyes. The first time that he and Yamaguchi went here was nothing but an annoying experience. Kuroo was still a rookie back then; still, a nobody, and the people in the agency weren't even acknowledging him. But now, just a word from Kuroo, and they'll be obeying him like crazy just because he's popular now. It was annoying, and Tsukishima needed a ton of self-control to not lash out that time.

He subtly knocked at the door and opened it. There were tons of people, and at the end of it, Kuroo was there, in front of the camera.

"Hello, Tsukishima-san!" A woman approached him, smiling brightly as soon as he stepped into the room. "I'm Kuroo-kun's P.A., Sasaki Kira, and he told me your name if you're wondering how did a stranger know your name. He said that the blonde one is Tsukishima-san and the one with freckles is Yamaguchi-san," 

_Oh. Okay._

"Nice meeting you, Sasaki-san," Tsukishima said before bowing at her. Sasaki waved her hand dismissively with a little giggle and motioned Tsukishima to follow her, which he did. They went past the other people, walking closer to Kuroo. They stopped a little far but still behind the photographer. 

Tsukishima finally got a good look at Kuroo's current state. Face full of glittery makeup and hair styled in a way Tsukishima couldn't even describe, but it looks good. 

"It's for a magazine this upcoming spring. You know, for Arraiya," Sasaki said as if she knew that Tsukishima was wondering why the hell Kuroo is wearing a turtleneck under a loose V-neck knitted vest in the middle of winter. But what caught his attention was what Sasaki just said. Its Arraiya, the top magazine in Japan for almost ten years now, and Kuroo would be featured in that. Holy shit. He knew that Kuroo was getting popular but not like this. It was overwhelming, and he's suddenly feeling proud. Who would think that Kuroo would get on the level that he's in right now even though he started late in the industry? 

"T-that's..." 

"Cool. I know. I screamed when Haruno-san told me that Kuroo-kun would be taking part in Arraiya's exclusive spring issue," Tsukishima smiled at her, not really sure with what to reply until she motioned him to go with her. Tsukishima complied even though the stares of the other staff felt like its scrutinizing him. 

She made him sit at a monobloc before excusing herself to do something, but despite her obvious business, she still promised to welcome Yamaguchi as soon as he opens the door. She left her after giving a bright smile, and Tsukishima was left all alone on the side. 

_Fuck. Maybe being alone in the restaurant could've been better._

Everyone was stealing glances at him, and Tsukishima hated it. He whipped his phone out and typed furiously after pressing his and Yamaguchi's private messages.

_**Tsukishima Kei:** Where the fuck are you?_

Much to Tsukishima's liking, the response was immediate, although the content wasn't something he expected.

_**Yamaguchi Tadashining ✨:** Can't goooOoO _

_**Tsukishima Kei:** what the fuck_

_Get your ass here, or I'll fuck you up._

_**Yamaguchi Tadashining✨:** That's a lot of fuck, tsukkiii _

_**Tsukishima Kei:** wtf i'm already at the agency i'm alone, and don't you bail on us_

_Especially on me !!_

_Come on, Yamaguchi_

_**Yamaguchi Tadashining✨:** Ooohh, u just used !!_

_But sorry, tsukki my stomach hurts sooOo much (￣▽￣*)ゞ_

_**Tsukishima Kei:** your reason is lame, and so are you_

_I'm removing you from my friends' list._

_**Yamaguchi Tadashining✨:** Tsukki u don't have enough friends to make a friends list HAHSHAHAHAHAHA_

Tsukishima turned his phone off with a grunt. If everyone was just glancing at him earlier, now some are staring. He couldn't give a fuck at the moment. All he's thinking was strangling Yamaguchi with his shoelace. 

He stared at nothing as he thinks of what will happen. Yamaguchi just fucking abandoned him— a good friend, _indeed_ , and now he's stuck with Kuroo. His right foot unconsciously started to tap against the floor as he feels his brain rotting every second. Kuroo would probably be done in a few minutes, and he'll have nowhere to go once Kuroo sees him. He could run away now and just ask Sasaki to tell Kuroo that he needed to do something important. But then the reservation in the restaurant would be wasted, and it's actually been a while ever since Tsukishima ate at an actual restaurant. 

Weighing the consequences on whether he should just go or stay was agonizing. He could easily explain it later, and it's not like he really wants to have Lunch with Kuroo in the first place.

_Maybe I could tell him that he should just rest after a tiring photoshoot and just have lunch when the three of us are complete._

His blood boils again upon thinking of Yamaguchi. He was never the gentle person that everyone assumes. Back in their middle school, yes, he might've been, but Yamaguchi became cunning as they grew older. He always bails and makes fun of the blonde, and Tsukishima wasn't even sure why he's still friends with him. 

While cursing Yamaguchi in his head a million times, he decided that it would be better if he'll just walk away too right now. Tsukishima's not a masochist. He was sure that he'd not enjoy torturing himself at their lunch. Kuroo's a grown-up now, and he sure has tons of friends. He could eat his lunch just fine, even without Tsukishima.

Taking advantage of the busy atmosphere, Tsukishima stood up to at least find Sasaki. He quickly moved, almost desperate to leave the place. There were no words to explain how happy he was when he saw Sasaki at the other side of the room looking at some papers that Tsukishima doesn't have any clue on. 

"Excuse me, Sasaki-san," 

"Oh, hi, again, Tsukishima-san!" She placed the papers on top of another pile then stood up to face Tsukishima with a smile. She's too bubbly that it could almost blind Tsukishima. "Can I help you with anything?" 

Tsukishima fiddled with his fingers, unsure if what he's about to say are the right words. "Well, you see; actually, I just want to ask a favor," 

"Okay then! I'll be glad to help," She smiled, and Tsukishima was losing the guts to lie straight at her face. "Whats your favor all about, Tsukishima-san?" 

"Uh—" 

"Tsukki!" Right at that moment, Tsukishima wanted to lash out at the universe. Why does Kuroo need to arrive just when Tsukishima was about to leave? He was so close to executing his flimsy plan. "Hey, Kira-chan! Why're two in the corner, though? Don't tell me that you're bullying my Tsukki?" 

"Oh my god, no! I was, in fact, about to help him, you know," She looked at Tsukishima, who was currently having his energy sucked out by a black hole. "So what's your favor, Tsukishima-san?" 

This was one of the times where Tsukishima could feel himself deflating. Lying was never his forte, and at times like this, when he needs to lie most, his courage just vanishes in thin air. "T-the comfort room," He mutters while looking down. How could he even tell Yamaguchi that his reasons are lame when he's just the same? 

"Gosh, I thought that you're going to ask for something big. The comfort room is just—" 

"Right timing, Tsukki! I also need to go there. Gonna wash all of this off," Kuroo pointed at his face, and Tsukishima had to fight himself from mocking him. 

But seriously, what the fuck? Tsukishima's making bad decisions continuously, and he might not be able to go home in one piece if this goes on. 

It was awkward when they got inside the comfort room. Kuroo went right to the sink with the massive mirror in front of him to remove his makeup. Tsukishima doesn't even feel like peeing, and he just finished washing his hands, which he prolonged to give himself some time to think about what to do next. 

"Fucking glitters," Kuroo hissed loudly as he tries to remove the glitters on his cheekbones and eyelids. He was almost scrubbing the cotton pad on his skin. Watching him was like watching a kid trying to grab water from a pool with open hands, trying hard, but the outcome's nowhere to be seen.

Quite irritated and just tired from seeing the pitiful man in front of him, he went out of the comfort room and tried to find Sasaki. Once he got a hold of her, he asked for a tape. The girl looked at him weirdly but still obliged. His strides were long as he walked back to where Kuroo is. He opened the door, and this caught Kuroo's attention.

As soon as he looked at him, Tsukishima threw the tape to him. "What's this for?"

"For the glitters. It's easier to remove them with tape," Tsukishima said and went back to his place earlier. He leaned his back and watched Kuroo as the man hesitantly tears a short amount of tape with his teeth. Tsukishima could clearly see him from the mirror; not only he looked hesitant, but Kuroo also looked scared that it's funny.

The first thing that came into his mind was to laugh at him, but his body seemed to have different plans. He walked to Kuroo and grabbed the tape from him and sticking it on his cheek.

Maybe it was the copious amount of blush that was used to him because Kuroo was red as hell as Tsukishima moves closer to check if he placed the tape at the spot where the silver glitters are.

"T-Tsukki—"

"This will not hurt you, Kuroo. Stop acting like a child," He pulls off the tape, and along with it was the glitters successfully removed from Kuroo's face. But despite the tape pulling being done, Kuroo still looked constipated, and Tsukishima just couldn't understand it. "Come on, it didn't hurt, right? Why are you—"

"No, no, I mean, y-your face, it's too—"Tsukishima quickly backed off, almost stepping on his own foot from scrambling backward. Kuroo laughed after few seconds of silence, an awkward one, and continued what Tsukishima started.

The blonde was close to dying, he was sure. He could feel his face getting hot from embarrassment. That was by far the stupidest thing that Tsukishima did today, and he just wants to drown himself. How could he be careless?

He twists his hand on his right wrist, something that he did when he tried to calm himself. It was embedded in his brain that Kuroo was someone that he should be with cautiously, and he's been doing it just fine for years. Letting himself forget it for a while was a little unsafe. Kuroo was probably shocked, too, judging from his action.

"When will Yams arrive, though?" Asked Kuroo without looking at him.

Tsukishima tried to let out his voice as normal as possible, not showing any signs that he was shaken real hard with what he did earlier. "He's not coming,"

Kuroo stopped what he's doing and looked at Tsukishima's eyes, questioning. "What? Why?"

"He said that his stomach hurts,"

"Sounds like a lie,"

"A very impotent lie, you mean," Kuroo chuckled, but Tsukishima couldn't help but slap Yamaguchi in his imagination for the umpteenth time now. He's not dumb not to see through Yamaguchi's plan, although he only realized it a little later than he should've. Yamaguchi already showed him a couple of times that he'll always pick Kuroo over Itsuki for him. There was a time that Tsukishima even confronted him for being too obvious with the fact that he doesn't like Itsuki at all that Tsukishima saw its effect on his now ex-boyfriend.

And now, knowing that Itsuki and Tsukishima are over, Yamaguchi's slyness is floating freely on the surface again. This was a setup, and Tsukishima was annoyed that he couldn't feel right from the start that this was one of Yamaguchi's plans.

"So, you gonna tell me that you can't go too?" Kuroo asked, making Tsukishima look at him. The man was still working on his face, but his expression was impassive enough that Tsukishima could see it even under his foamy face cleanser.

He couldn't answer, not when he doesn't even know what to say. Tsukishima swipes his thumb over his wrist as he thinks. It seemed like underneath Kuroo's questions lies something more, something more serious.

"Don't be shy now, Tsukki. I know you, you know? I'm pretty sure that you want to bail out on this lunch too," Kuroo ducks down and washes his face, leaving Tsukishima standing still, his mind trying to process what Kuroo said. He was definitely right, but how could he say it just like that? Like it wasn't even hurting him the slightest bit when Tsukishima could clearly see it in his eyes? "It's alright. I can just ask Kira-chan and Haruno-san to join me for lunch. You can go now, Tsukki. I don't want to bother you,"

"Kuroo, I—"

"Hey, I know for sure that you'll not even talk to me if not for Yamaguchi. You kept your distance from me, and I know why. And although Itsuki's not already in the picture, I know that hanging out with me weirds you out after years of not doing so,"

 _Fuck._ This was heavy, and its weight slowly brings Tsukishima down. Of course, Kuroo would know. There's no way that he wouldn't.

Looking back at it now, Tsukishima still wasn't sure if what he did was right. He doesn't have many friends, but distancing himself from Kuroo seemed like a good move at that time. He purposely moved the man from being his best friend into a mere friend just to let Itsuki feel more secure with him. It was a hard call. He was chosen over his boyfriend and his best friend that likes him romantically. But he wanted his relationship with Itsuki to grow and sail smoothly, which resulted in slowly cutting the rope that connects to Kuroo, only leaving a think fiber to hold onto what they have.

It was cruel. And Tsukishima just understands now how hard it must've been for Kuroo to always approach him even though he knows the reason why he drifted away from him. Kuroo was hurting himself every time, and Tsukishima was just letting him.

He closes his hand into a fist as he realizes that he was nothing but a shitty person.

"Don't worry. I'll not take this seriously, Tsukki. We can still have Lunch when Yamaguchi's finally free," Kuroo was sad. There's no denying it. But all Tsukishima thought of was to leave the comfort room. He hastily opened the door and went out, walking to somewhere that he doesn't know.

He could feel his chest tightening. It was getting hard to breathe, and he was starting to cry. How could he do that to him? Kuroo did nothing wrong, and who the hell was Tsukishima to just leave his friend hanging?

An empty bench invaded his vision, making him quickly grab the opportunity to sit and let himself calm down. Tsukishima wanted to vomit. He's not just guilty, he was also ashamed. He bit his lip, letting his tears flow.

It was a shame that he just realized that his friends will always be more important than his lover. Whether Itsuki was there or not, Tsukishima should've never hurt Kuroo. He should've just set a boundary, not ignore him. It was foolish, and Tsukishima even tells himself that he's mature enough back in college.

Could he still make it up to Kuroo?

No. He already hurt him enough, and coming back to Kuroo's life completely without knowing if he could go back to his old self is just as cruel as ignoring him.

Tsukishima's hands shake as he remembers Kuroo's face earlier. It was the first time that he saw that expression... or maybe it's because he never looked at him.

Could he still make it up to Kuroo?

Yes. Yes, _yes!_ Tsukishima could still do it. Determined, he stood up and quickly moved, stopping when he stopped a staff to ask where is the parking area. He ran towards the given direction while wiping his tears completely. It's been a while since he last cried. He doesn't know if it would make his eyes go red or not, but nonetheless, Tsukishima doesn't care. What's important was to see Kuroo again.

Upon arriving at the parking area's glass door, he stopped and did his best to catch his breath. He waited, hoping that Kuroo didn't leave yet. He wanted to make it up to him. He will make it up to him. Kuroo's right, Itsuki's not in the picture now, and he doesn't need to continuously cage himself to the false belief that he believed in the past.

Fifteen minutes passed, and there was still no trace of Kuroo. Tsukishima was starting to cry again with the thought of Kuroo, who left already. He started to head back to the opposite way, where the main exit of the building lies. He was already thinking of what to do next. He could text him and ask if they could grab something to eat but would Kuroo even accept that anymore? What if he finally got tired of waiting for Tsukishima to come back?

Tsukishima was an idiot.

"Tsukki?" Tsukishima stopped from walking, looking at his surrounding to look for the person who called him.

_Kuroo. It was Kuroo._

When he turned to his back, his eyes met Kuroo's. His face was now free of makeup, and he was already wearing his usual winter clothes. He looked like a normal person. He looked like Tsukishima's best friend.

"I-I thought that you already left?"

Tsukishima breathed in and calmly spoke. "I was waiting for you,"

"Wha— Why— so does this mean that..."

"Yeah, lunch,"

"Lunch? And this is not out of pity?" Tsukishima's heart clenches upon hearing that Kuroo thinks that Tsukishima would only eat with him out of pity.

"Of course not. Remember the dinner that you owe me after Haruka's party?" Kuroo nodded. "Yeah, so you need to pay that back today,"

Kuroo's face light up and remnants of any awkwardness and seriousness that they had earlier at the comfort room was now gone. Kuroo wrapped his arm around Tsukishima's shoulder and happily walked towards the parking area.

"You're heavy," Tsukishima said but not pushing Kuroo away. It was weird to think that he missed the weight of Kuroo's arm around his shoulder.

"I mean, of course! I'm a grown man!" Kuroo shouted, and Tsukishima stopped himself from stuffing Kuroo's mouth with his bag. "Wait, wait, let's take a picture and send it to Yams,"

Kuroo moved so fast that Tsukishima couldn't complain. He just heard the clicking sound from their picture being taken by Kuroo, a selfie as Kuroo happily said. He quickly sends it to their group chat and put his phone back in his pocket.

"I bet Yamaguchi will die out of envy," Kuroo laughed heartily, and Tsukishima was able to get a glimpse of Kuroo, who was smiling. "Let's hurry, Tsukki. I'm already hungry!"

Tsukishima smiles a little. Relieved that he remembered how easy this was before completely forgetting it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, welcome back :>

Just by looking at the duration of the video, Tsukishima already wants to shove Yamaguchi away. It was forty-six minutes, and in that time, Tsukishima could already do numerous things like wash the pile of dishes on the sink or eat his newly bought cup noodles from the convenience store down the block. But the video that was currently being pressed on his glasses might’ve been that important that Yamaguchi even went to his place.

As soon as Yamaguchi scrambled to remove his shoes before entering his apartment while shouting at him, Tsukishima already knew that there was no point in arguing with him. Yamaguchi’s the worst when he gets too pumped up that no one could stop him. Both a positive and negative trait, as Tsukishima concluded back in high school.

“Come on, come on, press play!” The freckled man shouted right at Tsukishima’s ear. He didn’t have any choice, so he grabbed the phone from Yamaguchi’s hand to look at the title first.

His eyebrow raised. It was an episode of Yamaguchi’s favorite variety show that airs every Thursday night. “I don’t have any interest in watching this—“Yamaguchi pressed play, and the two hosts of the show welcomed all the watchers. Tsukishima couldn’t help but roll his eyes. They were telling jokes that were nothing but annoying remarks for Tsukishima. Still, he could hear Yamaguchi giggling beside him and decided that it would be best to shut up about it, or else he’ll get Yamaguchi riled up.

Truthfully, Tsukshima wasn’t even listening after the first three minutes. It was boring. Totally. Not until Yamaguchi slapped his shoulder, and his focus was back on the video. There, he saw a familiar person, too familiar that he already know who it was just by looking at the shadow of that person.

“The man that everyone goes crazy for, Kuroo-kun!” The hosts said, and the thin border that hides him from the audience at first was pulled up, revealing Kuroo, who was smiling too much while bowing at the audience and the hosts. He could remember Kuroo telling him that he was invited as a guest for a show somewhere around the week. Okay. It became relatively less boring.

Kuroo and the two hosts sat down at a separate lofty white sofa. Kuroo looked comfortable as he converses with the two hosts. Tsukishima just wanted to curse Kuroo at how fast he could get comfortable in a different setting with different people. A hidden talent, Tsukishima supposes, although Kuroo doesn’t have any plans to keep it hidden because as Tsukishima watches the video, Kuroo looked like he’s just in his own home, conversing with his friends and not even caring about the dozen cameras in front of them.

“Now, now,” One of the hosts said before catching her breath from laughing so much. Kuroo said something funny that made everyone in the studio laugh, including Yamaguchi, who’s currently on his side, but for Tsukishima, it was horrible. “It’s a shame that we failed, Juro-san,”

The other host even wiped his happy tears after calming down from the high of Kuroo’s joke. “Kuroo-kun’s a natural humorist, Mieko-san, we surely couldn’t beat that, yeah? Beats me so bad,”

“Come to think of it, Kuroo-kun, it seems like Juro-san wants you to take over his job. Would you accept it so we can kick Juro-san out of here?”

“I mean, I could, but Juro-san would probably be the one to do the underwear endorsing—“Everyone erupted in laughter, and then there was the face of the host’s face horribly edited on a man wearing nothing but a boxer. Yamaguchi laughed out loud, and Tsukishima needed to move his head farther from him or else he might go deaf.

“It’s so funny, Tsukki! Look at Juro-san’s face, oh my god!” Yamaguchi said while slightly tapping Tsukishima’s arm. The blonde just let out a vividly fake ha-ha, making him receive a glare from his friend.

“That was not even funny, Yams,”

“Shut up and just watch. It’s gonna be interesting,”

“You mean boring,” Tsukishima spatted, but Yamaguchi just pursed his lips, pointing at the screen of his phone. Tsukishima couldn’t catch some of what they’re saying, but he didn’t really care. It looked like they were actually playing a game earlier where Kuroo was supposed to make the hosts laugh, in which he succeeded quickly. Now, the hosts talked about a trump card, saying that this person is a professional when it comes to trying not to laugh challenges. Kuroo rubbed his palms like he’s ready to make the person behind the thin border make him laugh.

“And for our special guest, none other than our phenomenal actor, Itsuki-kun!” The audience clapped loudly, but just like Tsukishima, who was shocked, Kuroo was frozen for a second too before clapping his hands.

It took a while before Tsukishima could actually process what’s going on. Kuroo and Itsuki on the same variety show? Just what the fuck is _that?_ In retrospect, he knew that Kuroo’s a person with too much patience, and the fact that cameras surrounded them was also relieving, but then they could never be sure. Kuroo knows what Itsuki did to Tsukishima, and he knows precisely how far could Kuroo go for his friends.

He paused the video and looked at Yamaguchi. “What the fuck happened?” Yamaguchi surely knows what happened. This was aired live yesterday, and he was sure that Yamaguchi would do everything to watch it on television. Instead of answering, though, Yamaguchi smirked at him and shook his head, pursing and pointing his lips again at the screen, telling Tsukishima silently to just watch it. “You’re annoying,”

“Like I care, Tsukki,”

He goes back and watches it again. Kuroo lost a bit of his composure earlier, and as much as Kuroo was conversing with the hosts, Tsukishima could see how much he was affected by Itsuki’s presence. On the other hand, Itsuki looked calm. He’s an actor, after all. It was probably too easy for him to act like being beside Kuroo, a friend of the person he cheated on, was just okay.

Tsukishima couldn’t help but hold the phone a little tighter than before. He was nervous. There was no doubt about it. When did watching a variety show became this nerve-wracking? Ah. It’s when your friend and your son of a bitch ex are the guests in a single episode. Who the fuck even thought that Kuroo and Itsuki would be a great pair in a fucking show? It was probably for the views, considering that they’re both popular now. Of course, people would do everything to gain views.

This was a heaven-sent episode for many people in Japan, but for Tsukishima, it’s nothing but a nightmare.

The show drags on, and Kuroo fails to make Itsuki laugh because he almost didn’t try at all. Tsukishima could feel how much Kuroo want to punch Itsuki just by judging at his glances, and Tsukishima secretly wants him to do it.

An impromptu arm wrestling happened due to the audiences’ request. Itsuki put up a fight, but Kuroo was just stronger than him, easily winning by only six seconds. Tsukishima rejoiced in his mind. Right after, the audiences cheered Kuroo and tried to uplift Itsuki’s crushed man ego. Tsukishima couldn’t be more pleased.

_I should buy Kuroo a lollipop._

The next segment was about the guests answering their fans' questions within five seconds. It started well, with Kuroo answering first, then Itsuki. The questions were actually easy at first until it becomes a little more curious about their lives.

“What’s your favorite food and why?” The host read on the gigantic screen behind them, and as soon as he stopped talking, the five-second timer began.

“It’s pike, of course! Because i-its healthy!” A few people laughed because Kuroo looked tense, as if he’s scared that he’ll not be able to answer in the given time.  
The timer restarts again quickly, and Itsuki spoke, “Tempura because it just tastes good,” Tsukishima could hear Yamaguchi mumbling beside him, saying that Itsuki’s answer is just as dull as himself.

“Next!” The other host said, and it felt like a race with how fast the happenings are. Five seconds seemed like a very, very short time, as if it is just a flash of lightning showing up in a blink of an eye.

“Something that you hate the most and why?” Kuroo has been doing good since this little segment started, always answering within a second, but then all of a sudden, it was nearing two seconds, three, then four—

“I loathe cheaters,” Kuroo said, leaving everyone quite taken aback, especially Itsuki and Tsukishima.

“Ooohh, interesting! Why is that Kuroo-kun?”

“They’re ungrateful. They’re the type of people who couldn’t be satisfied with one, and I hate that. I hate it because they’re hurting the people who did nothing but to love them. It’s wrong. It’s unjustifiable,” The crowd went quiet. Kuroo looked at Itsuki beside him, and Tsukishima just gripped the phone tighter. “Don’t you think so too, Itsuki-kun?”

Itsuki looked lost and shocked. Kuroo just hit a vital spot, making Yamaguchi cheer. Tsukishima doesn’t know what to feel. He could ultimately see Itsuki getting affected, but Kuroo just made it a little too obvious. That was too risky.

_Never mind. Fuck that lollipop._

“Y-yeah,” Itsuki said, causing the timer to restart again. Everyone was anticipating Itsuki’s answer, but it never came out. When the solid five seconds passed without Itsuki saying anything, the audience made a disappointed noise. Itsuki just pulled it off by laughing awkwardly and saying that the question was quite hard for him to answer.

“That was fucking interesting, right?” Yamaguchi asked when Tsukishima paused the video. He wouldn’t lie. Of course, it was interesting. Kuroo just caught Itsuki off guard, and Tsukishima was happy about it, except that he was so obvious and the whole thing was on the internet. He just hopes that no one notices that.

“I’ll give him a good beating tomorrow,” He said before giving the phone back to Yamaguchi and standing up to get a glass of water. The last minutes of the video that he watched just dehydrated him. It was stressful.

“Should I go tomorrow too?” Yamaguchi grinned widely. Tsukishima needed to stop himself from throwing the potholder at his face.

“You’re a shitty friend,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, making Yamaguchi laugh lightly. Ever since Tsukishima finally had a change of heart that day, they planned another lunch the next Saturday. Still, when Tsukishima and Kuroo were already at the restaurant, Yamaguchi once again bailed them out. Despite this, Kuroo was adamant about eating lunch with his precious friends, leading them in planning once again the next Saturday. Of course, Yamaguchi never came, texting them that his toe hurts because he bumped it on his table.

After that, Tsukishima couldn’t even remember how it started, but their Saturday lunches became a weekly thing. It was as if its mandatory but Tsukishima found himself going on his own will. He was trying to be a good friend now, and it was the least thing he could do for Kuroo. Besides, even though Kuroo was still the same, the always annoying type of friend, Tsukishima withstands it, but the number of times he wants to pull Kuroo’s hair was even not decreasing.

Still a love-hate relationship for Tsukishima, but now, both the love and hate are even.

“Duh, Tsukki, I’m giving you guys the opportunity to be close again!” Tsukishima wanted to say that they are indeed close again, but it felt too fast. It's just been months since they started hanging out like normal friends. It was still too early for him, and so, Tsukishima just acted like he heard nothing from Yamaguchi.

He prepared a simple dinner since Yamaguchi’s also crashing into his dinner. They ate and talked about things, and Tsukishima couldn’t help but tell Yamaguchi how sad he is now that his current students will not be his students again. It's just a matter of time before his four-year-olds became fives, and then it's time for them to enter their last year in kindergarten. Then they’ll be handled by Sugawara in their first grade that will make the grey-haired man smirk at Tsukishima again every day as he pumps his fist with Tsukishima’s ex-students.

Tsukishima frowns at the thought, but Yamaguchi was there to tell him that his current students will probably never forget him even though Sugawara’ll handle them. Plus, spring is about to come, another school year is about to start, and Tsukishima should just be happy about it. Yamaguchi’s words worked like magic, and it drove Tsukishima into a better mood before he went to sleep.

—

Tsukishima prefers to wear earth-colored clothes, colors that don’t stand out too much but still look good. And he was sure that Kuroo knows this just as he knows what Tsukishima’s favorite food is. But instead, he bought a _poppy-colored_ sweater for him. A poppy-colored sweater, for fucks sake.

He hated how vibrant the color was that it was attracting a lot of eyes as he walks. He was starting to think that Kuroo just bought it, and asking Tsukishima nicely last week to wear it on their next lunch to finally forgive him for acting frigid the past years was just a facade to make fun of him or to get some revenge. No matter what the reason is, Tsukishima’s need to punch Kuroo was becoming more urgent. Although he was at fault too for believing what Kuroo told him and almost willingly let himself be a walking poppy in the middle of Tokyo.

The distance from the train station and Kuroo’s agency felt a lot shorter to walk on to compared in the past weeks. He was getting used to the distance, and he knows that it's just going to be in a small amount of time before his feet memorizes the way, just like it does to his apartment and Yamaguchi’s.

“Tsukishima-san!” Sasaki waved at him as soon as she saw him in the hallway of the sixth floor. “You look good today!”  
The supposed-to-be compliment sounded so sour in Tsukishima’s ears upon remembering his too strong colored sweater. “You look nice too, Sasaki-san,”

“Thank you! Well then, Kuroo-kun’s at the second to the last door. Just open it. It’s okay. I’ll be with you later. I just really need to give these papers to someone,” Sasaki said before leaving Tsukishima. He opens the door with a little less caution than before.

Unlike the first time wherein he got the staff looking at him weirdly, they were now nodding at him and somehow acknowledging his presence. Maybe they got used to him now even though he’s not a model nor he’s not part of the team. One thing is for sure, though; he’s a close friend of Kuroo in their eyes. The Kuroo Tetsurou. And that was all they need to accept him.

He sat at the corner, his usual spot, and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He answered some of the messages that were left unread since yesterday. It was better to be occupied with something else while Kuroo still poses non-stop for that perfect shot. Tsukishima already learned his lesson a few Saturdays ago, where he watched almost the entire photoshoot, but then Kuroo always talked about it the whole lunch, and Tsukishima just ended up getting bored with his stories since he already saw everything that Kuroo was talking about. This was better; he answered his neglected messages and emails to somehow still get entertained when Kuroo started talking about his photoshoot.

After tending to some of his grown-up responsibilities, Tsukishima closed his eyes with the hope of a power nap. Even the mere walking for a few minutes makes him tired already, and he just couldn’t accept that he’s getting old. Not that old, but still getting older. His small amount of stamina is not even cutting it anymore, that even walking makes him tired.

Even though it was tiring for Tsukishima, he couldn’t find himself getting annoyed that he needs to walk quite a distance just for a weekly lunch. It was starting to get into Tsukishima’s life. It was as if his body just moves every Saturday to take a bath and prepare to go out. To take the train and go directly to the agency’s building if Kuroo happens to have a photoshoot or waiting in the shed of a macaron store. Either way, its purpose was to go to their designated place to have lunch together. All because Tsukishima made it clear that he doesn’t want to look like a loner in a resto.

Tsukishima has always had a routine in his life, and now, Kuroo was slowly slipping into his Saturday routines. He unconsciously frees his schedule from late mornings up to early afternoons. It was easier to talk to Kuroo, too, knowing that the man was fond of kids just like Tsukishima. The thread of their conversation in getting longer and Tsukishima’s usual two-word replies became three.

“Tsukishima-san! Hi, I’m back!” Sasaki sat beside him happily, hands void of papers that she always has whenever he sees her.

“Hello,” He said, less enthusiastic than Sasaki, who looked like she should be tired by now because of her work but is still energetic like crazy. She reminded him of that orange-haired boy back in high school. He wondered if he could steal her stamina; maybe just a few percentages would suffice his problem in terms of walking.

“I was truly waiting for you, you know?” Tsukishima suddenly froze in his seat. No. He can’t do this today— “I mean, not in that way! Please don’t be weirded out! It's just that Kuroo-kun has been in a bad mood since Wednesday,” Sasaki sighed, and suddenly she looked drained. “Kuroo-kun’s a naturally bubbly person, but when he’s in a bad mood? It's like he turns into another person. He’s been so quiet! The only thing that makes him smile these past few days when he’s texting you,”

Tsukishima tries not to notice the last sentence. There was no point. What's essential was why the fuck does Kuroo’s in a bad mood that Sasaki is even having a hard time. “I’ll talk to him. I guess,”

“Yey! Thank you, Tsukishima-san!” Sasaki placed her palm in front of him, and even though this wasn’t Tsukishima’s style, he still high-fived her. She was a nice girl and a hardworking one that Tsukishima felt comfortable with her presence despite her energy.

A few more minutes passed by, and the people around them were saying ‘thank you’ and bowing to each other. The photoshoot was finished, and Tsukishima readied himself to Kuroo's presence anytime by now.

“Tsukki...” Kuroo said, tired but still smiling. He was wearing a geometrically designed top and a skirt that goes all the way to half of his legs. His makeup was a little darker than usual, but his hair looked wet, and Tsukishima figured that it was tons of gel or wax.

“Hi, Kuroo,” Tsukishima greeted and stared at him. Kuroo sure looks like a different person every time he’s wearing a variety of makeup and clothing. But Tsukishima just knows that under all that, a goofy and annoying all of the time, Kuroo Tetsurou lies.

“Do you need anything, Kuroo-kun? So that I can get it before I leave you two,”

“Just my bag, Kira-chan. Thank you,” Sasaki quickly stood up and walked away to get it, and Kuroo replaced her seat. “Were you waiting for a long time? It went on a little longer than all of us expected. I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay. Sasaki-san was there to entertain me,” He said that made Kuroo nod lifelessly. “You’re tired,” Tsukishima pointed out, but instead of just telling the truth, Kuroo looked at him and shook his head.

“I’m not!”

“You can just go home and rest if you want,”

“No, I don’t want that!” Kuroo’s expression was out of the world. It was like asking his students if they want to just nap when it’s playtime. Tsukishima loved this.

“Are you sure?” He asked, and Kuroo quickly shook his head with more energy than earlier to prove that he was not even a bit tired.

“Yes, I am,” Kuroo squinted his eyes at him, and there was an accusing tone in his voice. “You’re not going to bail on me, right, Tsukki?”

“Is my name Yamaguchi Tadashi?” Kuroo raised his brow, making Tsukishima chuckle. “Then I’m not bailing on you,” The older man looked reassured enough, but as soon as Sasaki gave him his bag, he went straight to the comfort room while muttering how mean Yamaguchi is for not really coming in their Saturday lunches even once.

Yamaguchi’s voice rang inside his head again, making him remember that he knows why Yamaguchi doesn’t interfere with their little time every Saturday. It’s all to help Tsukishima atone the things that he has done to Kuroo. He’s helping him, and who is Tsukishima to refuse his help?

Getting more determined every week to make it up to Kuroo, Tsukishima smiles when he sees Kuroo back in his usual clothes and bare face. “Oh, are you that happy to see me, my dearest Tsukki?” Tsukishima’s smile fell then he started walking. Kuroo’s just so good at ruining everything.

After saying goodbye to Sasaki and Kuroo’s manager, Haruno, Kuroo quickly wore his black mask and cap before leaving the building. Until now, Tsukishima’s still wondering how come Kuroo doesn’t really encounter that much, although paparazzi is not a prominent thing in Japan. It’s a good thing, though.

They went straight to the restaurant that already has a reservation made under Sasaki’s name since Kuroo’s name might cause a stir, and they should always be careful. Their lunch has always been the same as the previous ones. They ate, and Kuroo didn’t let the chance of teasing Tsukishima in his new sweater slip. Tsukishima cursed Kuroo for quite a number, making the model question if he’s really supposed to be a teacher.

“I’ll miss them,” Tsukishima said as soon as their dessert was served, pertaining to his students. Kuroo pouted while nodding, and Tsukishima knew that even though Kuroo doesn’t really know how much he’ll miss his students, at least he could relate. He’s close with them, after all.

Tsukishima stilled for a minute, wanting to thank Kuroo because he brought something more to the kids. He made them livelier, happier, and Tsukishima was thankful for that.

“Kuroo—”

“Tsukki— Oh, you were about to say something?” Tsukishima suddenly felt shy, and as soon as he felt that, he just knew that he’d not be able to say what he’s about to anymore. It’s just so cheesy, and thinking about it now makes him shiver.

“No, it was nothing. What were you about to say, though?” He asked and was stared at by Kuroo, who was expressionless. For a split second, Tsukishima was worried. Kuroo rarely makes an unreadable expression, and until now, Tsukishima wasn’t sure what’s the meaning behind it.

Because he was busy with something else, he was busy moving further from him and trying to understand things about his friend.

His hands formed into a fist on his lap, guilt washing over him once again.

“You look like a cherry,” Kuroo says, making Tsukishima frown. He always found it hard to understand things when he’s feeling something a lot more serious. And right now, with his eyes stinging, guilt eating him, understanding what Kuroo was saying was more rigid than college. “What?”

“You look like a poppy,” Kuroo grinned at him, and Tsukishima could feel his face burning up with anger. He was about to have a breakdown, and Kuroo was just messing with him?

Oh, how he just wants to stab Kuroo with a fork. This was hard for him, too, reaching out to someone he hasn’t been with for years. He’s not even good with reaching out in the first place.

“Well, it’s been going around now. You think it’s true?” The girl from the other table said, voice a little loud. Tsukishima glared at Kuroo for the last time, but he doesn’t even seem worried that Tsukishima’s mad at him. Tsukishima slowly feels like bursting because of irritation. Kuroo and his lame jokes and teases and maddening, and Tsukishima couldn’t emphasize it anymore.

“You’re a terrible person, Kuroo. I’m throwing this fucking sweater later—”

“But Itsuki-kun looks like a good person! There’s no way that he could cheat,”

In Tsukishima’s whole life, he only experienced being dead nervous four times. First was when he was waiting for his teaching certificate, the second was when Akiteru’s wife was giving birth, the third was when a kid in his first year of teaching swallowed a chunk of clay, and the fourth one was now.

“But did you saw his face when Kuroo-kun mentioned cheaters?”

“It was kind of suspicious, yeah, but what if he’s the one who got cheated on?”

“I highly doubt that. I’m pretty sure that he’s the one who cheated, but who could that girl be?”

He heard Kuroo saying something, but he couldn’t comprehend anything. He didn’t know how long he was staring at nothing, but then he snapped into reality when Kuroo grabbed his wrist, and they went out of the restaurant, going to Kuroo’s car without abandon.

“Tsukki. Tsukki, are you alright?”

“No,” He said quietly, hands shaking that he couldn’t afford to calm himself down. People will find out what happened. Everything that they’ve worked hard for will all go to the drain. It will affect Itsuki’s career as well as his. His school will probably fire him, and he’ll be forced to leave everything that he loves.

Tsukishima always thought that he’s not scared of anything. That he’s brave and he can withstand things. But now, Tsukishima was frightened that he was shaking.

“Tsukki, I-I’m sorry. I didn’t— _I’m sorry_. I just couldn’t stop myself when I saw that bastard. It was wrong, and now the rumors are around. But I— I’m really sorry,” Kuroo mumbled. Tsukishima was still busy overthinking everything, but Kuroo looked apologetic like he made a grave mistake. It almost looked like he’s about to cry.

_No, we can’t be crying at the same time. That would be too chaotic._

He did his best to collect himself and wipe the tears pooled on the side of his eyes, barely hanging on before sliding down his cheeks. He held his wrist with his other hand and breathed deeply. Throwing all the emotions that he could deal with later because he never thought that he would need to act as the older one to comfort the other.

“I’m not mad at you,”

Kuroo quickly looked at him straight in the eyes with hope. “Really?”

“I’m annoyed, yes— but I understand you. I watched the whole thing, and you actually did a great job suppressing your anger because if Yamaguchi’s in your place that time, Itsuki might be full of bruises now,” Thinking about Yamaguchi punching Itsuki was actually fun, almost therapeutic.

“Yams is one heck of a person,” Kuroo said that made the both of them chuckle subtly. He was right, and Tsukishima would never try to fight Yamaguchi, especially physically.

“So, you okay now?” The blonde asked.

“I should be the one asking you that. Are you okay now?” Tsukishima wanted to lie, but lying would lead to nowhere. So, he looks outside through the window and sighs.

“Of course not,” There was a long silence. The one that was both comfortable and unbearable at the same time. But then he felt that Kuroo was smiling and chose to look at him instead. “What?”

“You look like a poppy, Tsukki,”

Tsukishima’s blood boils once again, and his patience stored for Kuroo today was almost gone.

“You. Are. Fucking. Annoying,” He said, emphasizing every word that pushes Kuroo to laugh. Tsukishima wishes everyone to see the real Kuroo, who acts like a person who was stuck in his high school mind. He’s sure that he’ll lose fans within a day if they experience firsthand how hard Kuroo would go through just to tease someone.

“Come on, Tsukki! It looks good on you. Do you doubt my fashion sense? Me, Kuroo Tetsurou’s, most handsome model of Japan?”

“No, I do not just doubt you. I’m beyond that already. You’re pissing me,”

“But I’m making you smile,” Tsukishima stopped for a moment, then rolled his eyes at him. Kuroo's just a friend and Tsukishima already said it to him countless times. “Seriously, though. I know that I fucked up that time, but I’ll respect your decision with Itsuki. I promise," But his face looked disgusted, the complete opposite of what he's saying. "But just remember that I’ll always be here to turn your disgustingly sour mood into a brighter one. The one that you always have when you’re in front of your students,”

Tsukishima’s heart swelled with something closer to euphoria.

“Thank you,”

_Maybe he does deserve a lollipop._


	8. Chapter 8

The four-year-olds now were a lot more handful than Tsukishima’s previous class. It took him a month before being able to feel a little closer to them. Kato apparently likes the taste of paper, and it was troublesome to tell him that it’s not food without hurting his feelings and not making him cry. Katia, his twin, is a massive fan of playing rock paper scissors to the point that she’s doing it in the middle of class while bothering his other classmates to play with her. Jiro’s the most energetic in the class, always running around and jumping, and Tsukishima felt like he’s the one getting tired instead of him just by watching him explore the whole classroom for the twentieth time of the day. It was hard not to notice Misora’s newly self-cut hair the other day too. Tsukishima wasn’t sure if he’s supposed to feel bad because her pretty long hair was gone in a flash and is now replaced with a haircut, same as Kane’s, a boy who almost tried to taste glue on the first day of classes.

Tsukishima has pledged that he would be patient and love his students no matter how hard it is, but sometimes, Tsukishima feels tired. And it resulted in him sleeping early every night to at least feel rejuvenated and ready for the next day’s chaos. He once told Yamaguchi and Kuroo what happened on the day that Yuuma stood on the chair and announced it to the whole class so they could watch him become the best jumper in their class. Tsukishima felt his heart on his throat as his vision turned into slow motion as he ran towards Yuuma to stop him. In the end, Yuuma was able to jump, and Tsukishima couldn’t feel anything but relief when Yuuma safely landed, and everyone clapped their hands. Yamaguchi and Kuroo just laughed at him.

Although it was a little rough, Tsukishima could still feel happy whenever he sees them singing along with him and dancing. Even if they do want to make him resign at some point, it was still worth it. Plus, quitting won’t do him good. His work isn’t just working for him. It’s so much more. He accidentally spills this to Kuroo the last time they were drinking beer, where he thought that he’d be branded as a dramatic person, but then Kuroo just gave him another beer and told him that he feels the same.

Being with Kuroo feels a lot easier now. Tsukishima was getting the hang of just accepting Kuroo’s teases without throwing a fit. His patience got even longer, resulting from his unwanted practice from his class this year and from his two friends.

But Kuroo’s whining never fails to leave a crack on Tsukishima’s patience bottled in him. It’s flatly annoying and loud, and the fact that Kuroo’s a six-foot-three man just makes it worse.

“Where did I go wrong, Tsukki?” Kuroo asked, limbs occupying the whole couch flailing, making him look lifeless.

“The whole you is wrong,” Tsukishima said, a smirk dancing on his lips while seasoning his newly cooked rice with salmon flavored furikake. It was a good thing that Tsukishima cooked a lot more than he usually does because Kuroo came early in the morning without any caution just to whine about his manager telling him that he’s not allowed to drink beer in the meantime.

Tsukishima placed the food on the table, readied everything before flicking Kuroo’s ear to let him know that the food is ready. There’s not much distance from the living room to the dining room, it's almost as if they’re just in the same room, but it took Kuroo awhile before he sat on the chair.

“You’ve been drinking excessively, Kuroo. You know that yourself,” He said in the middle of their meal.

“Then you’ve been drinking excessively too since we’re drinking together, Tsukki,” Tsukishima tried his best not to choke on his food. Kuroo was right, and Tsukishima has drunk more beer this month than he did last year. Kuroo’s a bad influence. But it was hard to reject it when Kuroo’s already on his doorstep with free food and cold beer being shoved in front of his face.

“Okay, but you’re a model, and you know that beer makes you gain weight,”

“But then why aren’t you gaining any weight?” Kuroo exclaimed while ruffling his hair. It seemed like his manager saw how Kuroo slowly gained weight. Tsukishima was sure that it was just a few pounds, but Haruno was strict and sharp that she noticed the minimal fat that Kuroo accumulated from drinking beer, saying that his abs are not that sculpted anymore.

“You and I have a different body type,” Kuroo continuously rambled on how unfair it is that Tsukishima stays slim no matter what he eats. He was also frustrated that Haruno tells him to go straight to the gym early in the morning every day for almost a week now to regain his magnificent body again.

Tsukishima just listens to him as he eats quietly, picking on his food but eventually finishes it, unlike Kuroo, whose food was still half-finished because of all his talking. It was starting to get entertaining to see how Kuroo overreacts to anything, and Tsukishima was ready to see how far can he push Kuroo. He stood up, opened his fridge, and grabbed a can of beer.

“Kira-chan even removed all the—“Tsukishima sat, and Kuroo’s eyes were fixated on the cold, gold-colored can in his hands. “—beer,” He popped open the can, and the familiar fizzle of it surrounded the two of them. Kuroo stayed still for a second before turning red, maybe from anger or annoyance. Tsukishima doesn’t know. “Tsukishima!”

The blonde laughed and drank a mouthful of the cold drink. Sure, it is not advisable to drink beer right after breakfast, but how could Tsukishima refuse the chance to finally make fun of Kuroo? To get back to him and happily execute his revenge?

“You’re a little shit, Tsukki. I can’t believe that you’re making fun of my misery,” Kuroo tried his best to look hurt, but Tsukishima knew him better than that.

“Remember when I tripped on a root of a tree and fell face first, then you and Yamaguchi laughed? Or maybe that time when I sprained my ankle, and as soon as the nurse said that it's not that bad, you removed your worried facade and happily teased me about it?” Kuroo stayed quiet, making Tsukishima cock his head with a sly grin. “Yeah, thought so too,”

“I’m drinking. I don’t care,” Kuroo rumbled and went to open Tsukishima’s fridge to get his own, forgetting all the warnings that Haruno and Sasaki told him if ever he’ll be caught drinking beer.

“You should work on how to stop yourself from giving in to temptation,” Tsukishima chuckled when Kuroo downed half of the liquid in the can in one go. Kuroo smiled after gulping it, and Tsukishima wasn’t sure, but it looked like Kuroo went to heaven for a millisecond.

“It’s hard, Tsukki. Especially when what you desire the most is just right in front of you,” Kuroo said, seriously looking straight into Tsukishima’s eyes. He was giving off a different vibe than he had a few seconds ago. Tsukishima was talking about the beer, and he hopes that Kuroo’s talking about beer too.

“Still, Kuroo. You lack discipline, and I’m definitely telling this to Sasaki-san,”

“Nooo! That Sasaki Kira would add shit to your story, and Haruno-san will kill me more!”

Tsukishima couldn’t help but to smile and rile up Kuroo more. “That's more like it then,”

“Ugh, I hate you, Tsukki,”

“Fine by me,” Tsukishima said and quickly regretted it because Kuroo just whined even more. His want to record Kuroo in his usual self and post it on the internet is growing steadily. He wants to know how Kuroo’s fans would react to it, especially to those people who run the accounts devoted to picturing Kuroo as nothing but a hot and delicious model when in reality, he’s on par with grade-schoolers.

Kuroo’s unnecessary little noises were stopped when the doorbell rang. They both looked at each other weirdly, but before Tsukishima could say anything, Kuroo ran towards his door, screaming Yamaguchi’s name with joy. He didn’t have the time to stop the older man and tell him that if it's Yamaguchi, he’ll just open the door without even knocking like it’s his own house.

“Yamaguchi— oh, uh,” Kuroo stuttered upon seeing a different person instead of their friend. Tsukishima hurried to the door to do some damage control when he saw Jen, one of the few people who knew his past relationship with Itsuki.

“Hello, Tsukishima-kun and Kuroo-san,” She greeted with a small smile. She probably met Kuroo back then behind the variety show's rolling cameras, but Kuroo doesn’t seem to remember at all.

“Let me get that,” Tsukishima said, pertaining to the box that's almost as big as her upper body. Jen thanked him and slightly massaged her hands. “Please come in and sit,” Jen did what she told, and Tsukishima could see her observing Tsukishima’s house, especially Kuroo, from his peripheral vision. “This is Jen-san, and I assume that you already know Kuroo,”

“Ah, of course, yes. I mean, how could I not?” Nothing changed. Her voice was still as sweet and refreshing as spring, and it gives off that familiar, comfortable feeling in Tsukishima’s stomach. “I was there in your last guesting, but you probably didn’t saw me,”

Kuroo looked intrigued, making him sit beside Tsukishima. “Really, really? What do you do? A stylist or a manager?”

“No, no, I’m actually Itsuki-kun’s personal assistant,” Her smile showed nothing but proudness after saying that she’s the assistant of a popular actor. Tsukishima saw how Kuroo’s jaw tightened for a second before smiling fully again to not ruin Jen’s genuine smile.

“That’s cool! But then, uh, I’m going to take a bath, ha-ha. I’ll leave you two first, so if you’ll excuse me,” Jen wasn’t able to reply, but her ears were red as well as her neck. Tsukishima just faces palmed himself, wanting to throw the nearest thing at Kuroo right now; it was the remote.

_Take a bath? Take a fucking bath?_

He wasn’t sure if Kuroo was just plainly clueless with the effects of the words coming out of his mouth. One, Jen’s a woman who looks up to Kuroo, and it was definitely weird to announce that he’s just going to take a bath when it's the first time they talked to each other. Two, just what the fuck is that lame excuse? Tsukishima wanted to understand him, maybe Kuroo’s brain short-circuited as soon as he heard Itsuki’s name, but Tsukishima would be able to tell a more decent excuse.

“So,” Tsukishima said, both interrupting anything that might’ve been lingering in Jen’s head and also start the conversation. He knew where this was going anyways. The box was hard to not notice. “How are you? Its been a while, Jen-san,”

“I’m okay, but— I- I don’t know what happened. How did you and Itsuki— I’m sorry, I know it's been months, and yet I’m just asking you this now, but I still just can’t believe it,” Tsukishima tried to keep his composure. It's been almost ten months since they broke up. He should be at least able to keep on a face that hides anything that he’s feeling.

It looks like even Jen didn’t know that Itsuki cheated. Tsukishima’s hands turned into a fist, anger slipping into his veins again. “We just had a change of heart. That is all,”

“Oh...” Her eyes gazed at the bathroom door for a second. She was almost pouting. But really, Tsukishima couldn’t blame her. Even before Jen became Itsuki’s assistant, Tsukishima was already there. Both of them were there as Itsuki climbed the popularity ladder at a fast pace. Tsukishima considered her as a friend, not really a close one but still a friend. His fist tightened at how shocked Jen probably was when she was just seeing Tsukishima and Itsuki having a typical day, then the next day suddenly changed all because of Ikura.

Tsukishima tries to remove the picture of seeing Ikura in Itsuki’s shirt that day. The anger was building again, the anger that he’s been suppressing to let out for months. He could only cry and tell a few things to his friends, but he could never let out his anger. Where could he channel it anyways? Itsuki did not even contact him to at least explain things, and he’s the only person who’s worth lashing out. Everything’s his fault. That motherfucker.

“I... I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say. It’s just that in all my years working for Itsuki-kun, it’s just been you. And now he has Ikura-san and _you..._ ” Her eyes gazed at the bathroom door for the second time, and that was alarming enough for Tsukishima. People tend to like assuming things.

“We’re not together. Kuroo and I. You know that he’s my friend, right?” Jen should know it. It has been mentioned a couple of times back then, but it must’ve been hard to take it all in at the moment. After all, she never saw Kuroo and Tsukishima together.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I just thought that uhm— _anyways!_ These are your things that were left in Itsuki’s apartment. I’m sorry that it took me a while since I really want to bring these to you personally, but I was swamped with things to do,” She pointed at the large box which Tsukishima lifted earlier. The package was a little heavy, just like what the blonde is feeling at the moment. It was heavy, clearly indicating that Tsukishima had a lot of things in Itsuki’s apartment. He really did.

“Thank you,” He replied, not aware that his eyes were slowly tearing up.

“Itsuki was the one who arranged that, but if he forgot something, you could always call me, and I’ll bring it to you,” Tsukishima nodded, but he was sure that if Itsuki forgot something, he’d never ask him to return it. He could just eat it, polyester, and satin for all Tsukishima cares.

“That would be great, but do you want anything to drink? Water or tea, perhaps?”

“You don’t need to, Tsukishima-kun. I still need to do something back at home since I’ll not be able to do it once Itsuki’s taping starts,” He did not prod more further and just walked Jen back to the door. She gave him her usual smile and pat on the arm before leaving. And Tsukishima was all alone again.

He sat on the couch, eyes glued on the box.

“Tsukki! I need some clothes! Can I borrow some?” _Oh_. Tsukishima wasn’t alone after all. Trying to be the kind person he’s not usually is, he hastily pulled clothes out of his cabinet and threw them at Kuroo’s face. “I’m gonna use your room for a minute,”

“Yeah, right. You can also use the kitchen or stay on the balcony. Wanna stay in the washing machine too? Or that plant pot in my room? Or maybe you’d want to stay here permanently?” It was sarcastic. It has always been Tsukishima’s forte. Nothing but being a sarcastic being.

But Kuroo was immune to anything that Tsukishima has under his sleeves. “I can live here? Really, Tsukki?” He asked enthusiastically, voice almost muffled from being inside Tsukishima’s room. The blonde crossed his arms and just sighed deeply.

“Dumb shit,” He muttered before sitting again and doing nothing. He was just staring at the box. Why does it felt weird just by looking at his very own things? Those are, without a doubt, his, but why does Tsukishima doesn’t feel like it? Does he not want them back?

“So, what’s that? Itsuki’s limited merch?” Kuroo went out of the room with his hair still wet, sitting beside Tsukishima. He looked good, but Tsukishima would never admit it, especially when Kuroo just spoke bullshit.

“Fuck you,” He said in spite, but Kuroo just wiggled his eyebrows, annoying Tsukishima more.

“But seriously, what’s that?”

“Just my things in Itsuki’s apartment,”

“Oh,” Tsukishima could see Kuroo biting his lower lip. The arrival of his things was wrong timing. He’s not sure why but there’s this buzzing in his mind that always reminds him not to mention anything about Itsuki when he’s with Kuroo. He did not fight it, though, since not thinking of Itsuki helps him too. But still, it would be hard to try and open the box with Kuroo beside him.

Kuroo suddenly stood up, and the space that he once occupied was now void of presence. Tsukishima blinked rapidly and leaned his head on the top of the backrest of the couch. Itsuki’s just a taboo that always kills the mood of anyone who knew that he cheated. Tsukishima hated it too. But how could they avoid Itsuki when just by drinking bottled water, he’ll see his face plastered beside the bottle’s fucking brand smiling like a freak?

But then his vision was blocked with a cutter a few inches away from his face. Usually, he should’ve flinched already and shout at that person that its fucking dangerous, but now that he’s mentally and emotionally drained already, he just stared at it.

“Here, so you can open it now,” Kuroo placed it on Tsukishima’s hands and went back to his previous seat. Tsukishima looked at him, eyes asking why. “What? Come on, just open it. Aren’t you excited to see your long-lost things again?”

He wanted to tell him that his reaction could’ve been different now if only his things didn’t come back to him from Itsuki’s apartment. Inside the box were the things that Tsukishima always uses whenever he’s in his ex’s apartment. Those hold little memories that he already forgot because they’ve been together for quite a long time and those beautiful memories that are still on the back of his head. Tsukishima’s scared that his feelings will float again after seeing his old things, and all his rational thoughts will subside.

“I- I can’t open it,”

“Why?”

“I just can’t, Kuroo. Sometimes it’s just hard to do things alone, okay?” He said, already shaking. He didn’t mean to raise his voice at him, but how could he stay calm? “I’m scared,” He admitted, voice faltering the same with his soul.

“Well, I’ll just take the lead, then you can stay behind me,”

“But I’m beside you,” Tsukishima said, making the both of them smile. Kuroo gently grabbed the cutter from Tsukishima’s hands and moved closer to the box, cutting the tape open.

“But you know, Tsukki, I’m not really sure, but I think that things like this will still happen. You’ll still need to face things about Itsuki. He’ll still be around you with his face printed everywhere unless his popularity dies, which I truly hope so, but you need to stay focused, yeah? Don’t let that shithead mess you up a hundred times more. I know that what he did to you was awful, and I still can’t stop myself from getting into a bad mood whenever I see his face, but hey, you have responsibilities now. You can’t keep on crying whenever you came into contact with Itsuki-related moments. I need you to be strong,”

Kuroo pulled out the first shirt that was in the box. Then the sweater that Itsuki gave him on their first week. Tsukishima couldn’t help but to cry, sob even. But Kuroo did not give him any attention. He just kept on emptying the box while Tsukishima cries.

It was hard to see the things that were embedded with his now unwanted memories. It’s like hurting himself all over again. But Tsukishima knew that this was necessary, looking back at everything first before letting it go. And he’ll do it all over again if it would mean that he’ll eventually heal.

He kept on wiping his tears, knowing that it’s futile with how continuous his tears are. “This’ll be— be the last time that I’ll cry with Itsuki being the reason,”

“Oho? Then what should be your punishment if you’ll cry again for him?”

“Punishment? Really, Kuroo?” He side-eyed him, almost disgusted.

“What? Punishment is an innocent word, okay? You’re just the one who's making it _dirty!_ ” Kuroo defended while raising his hands. Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him, although his tears were still flowing. It’s been a while since he’s been down like this. “How about I stay here for a week if you cry again?”

“No,” Tsukishima said quickly. “That will not happen,”

“Uhm, _yes_ , it will not happen if you’ll not cry again,” Tsukishima looked at him. Kuroo does have a point, and Tsukishima does not intend to cry again after all. That punishment would also help a lot in achieving his longtime promise to himself. It would be a pain having Kuroo in his apartment for a week. A day with him already drains his energy. Tsukishima shivers, what more for a week?

“Okay, deal,”

“That’s more like it, Tsukki!” Kuroo tried to hug him sideways, but Tsukishima quickly pushed him away and stand. “A hug would be nice,” Kuroo pouted, resulting in Tsukishima quickly throwing a throw pillow at his face.

His face was now void of tears, and Tsukishima reverts back to his snarky self with his arms crossed on his chest. “What should I do with those?”

“Burn them—”

“No, no, no. I need to get something from these too,”

“Then sell it?”

Tsukishima ponders for a minute, eyes going back and forth from looking at his scattered clothes and Kuroo, who is waiting for his answer. “Okay.”

The two men quickly made an account at a website designed for selling pre-loved clothes. Kuroo did most of the work, making Tsukishima thankful because he really doesn’t have the technological talent. He just silently watched him clicking different things until the account was created and all they have to do is post the clothes.

It sure was the longest part of the day. Kuroo was adamant about making Tsukishima wear his clothes and be the model, but Tsukishima wasn’t coinciding with him, telling the black-haired man that he’s the one who’s a real model, so he should be the one to do the work.

“But I literally did everything to put up your account? This is mean, Tsukki!”

“But you’re the fucking model here!”

“Your clothes are a size smaller than mine! That’ll not fit in okay to my scrumptious body—”

“Oh my god, Kuroo! Shut the fuck up!”

“Then just wear it! It's your clothes anyway, and I doubt that you’ll even give me a single share of your income from this!” Contrary to what Tsukishima said, he was the one who shuts up, but it's only because his throat was now feeling sore. After all, they were both shouting at each other for a whole three minutes now.

His chest was heaving, and so are Kuroo’s, both tired, but as soon as their eyes met, they erupted in laughter. Tsukishima doesn’t even know why he’s laughing, but it was good. He felt lighter than before.

The clothes that were lying on the coffee table were grabbed by Tsukishima before walking into his room. “You never won this argument. I just had a change of heart,”

Kuroo grinned at him before showing him a thumbs up. “Whatever you say, Tsukki! Get dressed already. I’m excited to take pictures of you!”

It wasn’t bad as Tsukishima thought it would be. He did feel shy at first, but Kuroo kept on encouraging him. With both Kuroo’s encouragement and his secret love for the camera, he slowly gained confidence and tried his best not to shame himself in front of Japan’s most popular model. Kuroo did tell him a few things to remember while trying to model something, and Tsukishima did as he said.

Tsukishima always wanted this, to be able to pose at the camera with nothing but confidence painted in his whole being. But he never had the chance, and he’s too shy about it. This was also one of the reasons why Tsukishima liked going to some of Kuroo’s photoshoots. It’s entertaining to see the cameraman taking countless high-quality photos of Kuroo that will be printed in popular magazines.

When they felt too tired with their unexpected little photoshoot on the side of Tsukishima’s apartment, where the sunlight goes in from the massive window with the plants behind him, they both agreed to just order food. Even though Tsukishima was sad that their reservation in the newly opened restaurant was wasted, Kuroo insisted that this was better because he knows that Tsukishima is tired.

They ate and talked about Tsukishima’s new class. Kuroo just laughs at him whenever he tells him an unfortunate story. His remarks were annoying, but Tsukishima just let him. He also found himself looking forward to Kuroo meeting his new class. He wonders if they’ll be close right away or if Kuroo would surrender because of their unexplainable mischief and energy.

Once Tsukishima was good to go again, they continued taking pictures. They were both exhausted when they finished uploading everything through the newly built account. “You still have a long way to go before you could catch up to my modeling skills, Tsukki,”

“Okay, but I don’t really care,” Tsukishima huffed. It was already past noon, and Tsukishima was getting sleepy. He’s tired and full, and all he wants to do is to sleep. He closed his eyes and was about to drift into slumber when Kuroo shook him aggressively.

“Tsukki, Tsukki, I want something sweet,” Upon hearing the word sweet, Tsukishima also salivated.

“Okay, but what should we buy?”

“Mochi?” Kuroo asked, and Tsukishima’s eyes lit up.

“The ones with ice cream inside?”

“Yeah, and we should get the chocolate flavor,”

“And the strawberry too,”

“Okay, bet,” Kuroo quickly stood up and vaguely asked Tsukishima to borrow some clothes from him. Tsukishima just gave his approval, there’s nothing wrong with letting a friend borrow your clothes as long as it's consensual, and Kuroo did a lot for him today too.

He also changed his clothes into something a little more appropriate for going out on a good spring day. While fixing his pants, his phone vibrated, and Yamaguchi’s name popped up.

**_From: Yamaguchi Tadashining ✨_ **

**_Tsukki, give me a color_ **

**_Faster_ **

**_!!!!!!_ **

Tsukishima tilted his head in wonder but just sent a reply that has nothing but a simple purple. Yamaguchi didn’t reply back, which was quite weird, but Tsukishima just let it go. He buckled his belt and went out of his room only to fold the clothes used earlier. This warms Tsukishima’s heart.

“Oh, hey, Tsukki, should we go now?” Tsukishima nodded, and Kuroo quickly went to the genkan to wear his shoes. “Hey, Tsukki,”

“Yeah?” Tsukishima asked as he ties his shoelaces. Kuroo didn’t say anything at first, which was weird. What’s with both of his friends being weird now?

“Do you still love Itsuki?” Tsukishima stilled for a moment. What’s with that question?

“Huh?”

Kuroo chuckled awkwardly while running his hand on his hair. “That was silly. You don’t need to answer it,”

“No, wait,” Tsukishima breathed in. The question was uncalled for, but deep down, Tsukishima knew that he’s bound to answer that question someday. Maybe it would be better to just answer it now. He checks himself and stares at his shoes. Will it be too fast to say that he doesn’t love him anymore? Will he be true to himself, he’ll say that? But one thing’s for sure. There are no lingering feelings in him for Itsuki besides hatred.

“It’s okay, Tsukki. It’s just been almost a year, so you don’t need to—”

“I don’t anymore,” He whispered and went back on tying his shoelaces. He remained crouching with his eyes glued at his shoes, but Kuroo’s stare was too intense that he could even feel it. “He cheated on me,” He swallowed a lump in his throat. Itsuki made him feel loved, but he ruined everything and left a scar that would forever be in Tsukishima’s heart. “He hurt me really bad. I don’t think that Itsuki will ever be worth my love anymore,” He looked up and met Kuroo’s gaze. “My self-worth is more important, right?”

Kuroo smiled. “Yeah, that’s more important,” Tsukishima stood up, ready to go out. “Let’s go?”

“’ Kay. You’ll pay,”

“What? No! You’ll pay,” Kuroo exclaimed as Tsukishima locked his door. They went down the stairs while fighting whether who will pay.

Kuroo loses anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk but Kuroo folding clothes is ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ


	9. Chapter 9

There wasn’t a single time in Tsukishima’s life that he thought he’ll do what he’s about to do now. This is entirely wrong, and if caught, they’ll have no excuses. The chance of being thrown to jail can’t be crossed out either. He told this to Yamaguchi hours ago, but he failed miserably. Or if he’s a little more honest, he just didn’t try more to persuade him.

“We can’t back out now, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi groaned, and Tsukishima could guess how much Yamaguchi is feeling tired from lifting almost a dozen of paper bags which Tsukishima refused to help with. “Come on, enter the code now,”

Tsukishima shot him a glare. His fingers were quite shaking as he lifts it up, ready to press the little buttons to enter the code. It’s not just any code, but the code in Itsuki’s apartment. He couldn’t really say that he doesn’t want to do this even though it’s wrong. A part of him is scared of being reported as an intruder, but a part of him is also enthralled with the thought of going along with Yamaguchi’s childish plan.

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said, his voice almost threatening now. This pushes Tsukishima to the edge and eventually giving up on stopping himself. He pressed the buttons and entered the code that he knows. They went without the assurance whether Itsuki’s passcode still remains the same or has it been changed. Yamaguchi doesn’t seem to care, though, and Tsukishima was sure that his friend still has something if ever Itsuki already changed his code. He doesn’t really want to know what are those other ways.

Waiting for the familiar click of the door was like waiting for death that you’ve been briefed for already. It was excruciatingly slow, and both men were holding their breath as they wait. “Oh, my fucking god,” Tsukishima sighed in relief. The sudden entry of air into his lungs was almost painful.

Yamaguchi opened the door wider and invited himself in. Tsukishima went after him and closed the door. Yamaguchi sat on the couch comfortably, letting his arms rest for a bit. He wanted to act like Yamaguchi too. He wanted to sit also and just look around like he’s just judging the house's interior, but Tsukishima knew that he couldn’t do it. Looking around would like be looking for memories with Itsuki. This is what he’s wary of when Yamaguchi told him that they should trash Itsuki’s apartment. It’s not like he still loves him. It’s just that there’s still an ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach, churning violently because he’s trying his best to forget him.

“We’re lucky Itsuki’s a dumb bitch. Who doesn’t change his passcode after a break-up?” Tsukishima didn’t answer. Maybe Itsuki’s busy with his life, which is now his career, and Ikura to even change things.

He looked at Yamaguchi, who doesn’t seem like he’s guilty or nervous, unlike Tsukishima. The only thing that Tsukishima’s getting guilty of is that he used Jen to confirm that Itsuki’s not in his apartment, which was Yamaguchi’s order. He was pushed to ask Jen if she’s free to hang out with him today, but Jen quickly said that she’s not free because Itsuki has a shoot for his upcoming movie for the whole day. She sounded so happy because it was the first time Tsukishima asked her to hang out with him, which makes the blonde feel guilty.

“Let’s start now,” Yamaguchi announced as he started to place the paper bags on the coffee table, but Tsukishima just watched him, not really sure about what they’re about to do. “What are you just standing there, Tsukki? Aren’t you excited?”

“I’m not— are you sure about this? Because I swear, we’re getting ourselves in prison—”

“Tsukki, look at me,” Tsukishima obeyed. “Do I look like I care?” No. There nothing in Yamaguchi’s face but a grin. He’s definitely excited about this. “Kuroo can always bail us out and, as soon as we got out of the prison, I’ll be telling everyone that Itsuki’s a fucking cheater and he cheated on you for Ikura. Let’s see if that will do him any good,”

There are times that Tsukishima’s scared of Yamaguchi. He’s slowly getting evil as time goes by, and he’s still not sure how the people around him treat him like a delicate and precious vase when he’s the one who’s willing to break other people. Not really the trait that Tsukishima finds for a friend but Yamaguchi’s irreplaceable.

“Okay, fine. What do you have there?” Tsukishima sat beside him and looked at Yamaguchi’s busy hands. He brought out the stuff in the paper bag, and Tsukishima’s eyes widened as soon as he saw the tiny and really sparkly bits in a huge sealed plastic. “Oh my god, Yamaguchi,”

“That’s not all, Tsukki! I also bought this, and this,” Tsukishima could feel his soul coming from his body when Yamaguchi finished bringing out everything. There’s four plastic full of glitters, ten small slime containers, and two big tubes of super glue. Yamaguchi proudly smiled at him.

_Yamaguchi’s mad. He’s a fucking psycho._

Everything’s purple. And Tsukishima finally found the reason why Yamaguchi asked him for a color a few weeks ago. His voice was suddenly gone, and his brain felt like a wire soaked up in the water. It’s like he’s being electrocuted with the shock of the pricey things in front of him.

“These are quite fucking expensive, Yams. Did you really just spend thousands of yen just for these shits?”

“Uhm, of course, no. Remember the designer shoes that Itsuki gave me on my birthday? I sold it and used the money to buy those. There’s no way that I’m spending my own money just to get back to him. I still have a few left-over thousand yen here. We can eat at the restaurant down the—”

“I— You’re crazy, Tadashi,”

“Not really the sentence that I want my first name to be in, but I’ll take that as a compliment. So, where’s Itsuki’s room?” Yamaguchi said a lot after that, happily using the lengthy-time because they still have the whole day without Itsuki going home. He even made a short and unnecessary plan and gave the liberty of thrashing Itsuki’s room for Tsukishima.

This is a crime, and Tsukishima’s a fucking teacher. A fucking pre-school teacher. Tsukishima questioned his validity, but it all crumbled when Yamaguchi finally opened the bag of glitters, and some popped off on the carpet. Yamaguchi squealed, and Tsukishima bit his lip, suppressing a smile.

Suddenly having the urge to do what Yamaguchi just did, he grabbed the opened one from his friend and walked towards Itsuki’s room. A room where a lot was shared between the two of them. But Tsukishima shook his head, not letting anything prevent him from doing this.

“You deserve this,” He said, then opened Itsuki’s closet. A few too girly clothes were hard not to notice, which made his blood boil more. “Yeah, you really deserve this,” Tsukishima threw a handful of glitters inside Itsuki’s closet and watched the clothes be covered in bright purple glitters. All of the anxiety that he had earlier was gone and was replaced with the thirst for revenge.

“Yamaguchi! _I did it!_ ” He said happily, and Yamaguchi quickly went into the room and saw the tainted closet.

“Way to go, Tsukki!”

They continued what they’re doing. Tsukishima scattering glitters everywhere, especially on the bed and some files on the table. Itsuki could dust it all away, and the papers will be good as new. He threw some in the cabinet, then on the nightstand, and even under the bed. Yamaguchi took care of the bathroom, and in an instant, the shiny white bathroom with black accents was covered in purple glitters.

After playing with the glitters, Yamaguchi opened the tubes of super glue. “What’s that for? Gluing his clothes?” Tsukishima asked, but Yamaguchi just laughed at him and gestured to just watch him. They went to the bathroom, and the freckled man squeezed a fair amount of super glue on the mirror. Blinded with the joy of getting back at Itsuki, Tsukishima grabbed the other tube of superglue and started to pour some on every mirror that he could see.

He got some glue on his hands, but Tsukishima doesn’t really care. He was pretty sure that removing super glue from his hands would be a lot easier than removing it on mirrors. The kitchen didn’t escape the best friends’ craziness that even the glass on the oven was smeared with super glue. Tsukishima couldn’t help but laugh loudly when Yamaguchi started to draw dicks on the glasses. Leaving only one glass because apparently, Yamaguchi said that he’s not that mean to destroy everything. They left him one glass, a plate, and a pair of spoons and fork, which was already a lot in Yamaguchi’s perspective.

The last thing that they did was stick the slime on the carpet. Tsukishima wants to feel pity for Itsuki, but just like what he’s saying to himself earlier, Itsuki deserves this. And that’s all he needs to continue this. The slime was sticky, and Tsukishima wondered if his students would like this. He should talk about this to his co-teachers.

“I’m getting hungry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi said when they were halfway on sticking the slime. Tsukishima wanted to second what he said, but he just laughed as soon as he turned his head to see Yamaguchi. He looked like a dog, on all fours, looking ugly. He probably looked like the same, and this just made him laugh more.

When they finished everything, they both sat at the once white couch but with Tsukishima and Yamaguchi’s effort, now color purple. They were both panting. It took them more than an hour, after all. There’s no way that they’ll not feel tired.

“We did great,” Tsukishima said, looking around them.

“Heck, yeah. We really did,”

“You think he’ll sue us?” He asked, just plainly curious now. He’s not feeling fear anymore, which he doesn’t know if it’s a good or bad thing.

“Nah, I don’t think so. His guilt might stop him, but if he did, then let’s welcome the new record under our name,” They chuckled together. Tsukishima’s work is online, but he’s feeling safe. It would stir a lot of attention if Itsuki would ever sue them, and just like what Yamaguchi said, Kuroo would be bailing them out. He’ll probably tell them that they did a great job in front of the police station. Yamaguchi would also tell everyone about Itsuki being a cheater, and Tsukishima will surely let him. Everyone would feast on that issue for months, and Itsuki’s career will go down.

Tsukishima grinned. They have all the trump cards.

“Hey, Yams?” Yamaguchi looked at him. “Thank you,”

“Did I helped you get out that anger in you?”

“Yeah. Thanks a lot,” Tsukishima leaned his head on Yamaguchi’s shoulder.

“You’re welcome, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi patted his hair softly. “Anyways, we need to eat now. I’m starving,” Tsukishima nodded as he’s also quite hungry too. They stood up and dusted their clothes of glitters. It was a long process. It took them a while because the glitters were sticking really bad on their skin. Their stomachs were demanding food, and they were also tired. Thrashing the apartment was exhausting, and Tsukishima couldn’t even imagine how hard it would be to clean this place. But then again, Itsuki deserves this.

Giving up, Yamaguchi just stopped dusting himself and just took tons of pictures of the ruined apartment. It even escalated to Tsukishima holding the glass with a dick drawn proudly by his friend, the Yamaguchi quickly captured it. There were the classic peace sign and one with their tongue out.

Sometimes, Tsukishima feels like a hypocrite whenever he says that Yamaguchi’s absurd when he’s also the same sometimes. His old self would probably be disgusted with what he’s doing right now, posing in front of Yamaguchi’s phone with a proud smile and behind him was Itsuki’s closet full of glitters. But people change over time, and Tsukishima’s okay with what he is now.

“We need to eat,” Tsukishima said.

“Yeah, we really do,” They both grabbed their things, and Yamaguchi was the one who went out first.

Tsukishima was left with the responsibility to close the door, which he wanted to do. He gripped the edge of the door softly as he looked over the vast apartment. Many memories were shared in this place, and even though Itsuki cheated on him, he could never deny that he had a good time with him.

With a faint smile, Tsukishima glanced at it for the last time, knowing that it’s going to be the last time that he’ll step here, then closed the door.

The train ride was painfully shameful. People were looking at them because they were fucking sparkling. A child even waved at them, and right after they waved back, they heard the kid wanting to bathe in glitters, too, because it’s pretty. Tsukishima just desperately hoped that any person that knows him would not see his current state because if they did, he’d probably die.

People’s curious stares didn’t end at the train. Even when they went out and walked out of the train station, Tsukishima could feel their eyes. It was embarrassing, especially when they went inside the convenience store since they figured that it’d be too much if they’ll eat at a restaurant with their current look. But one thing is for sure, wherever they went, they were the star among everyone.

_Sparkly purple glittered adult men. Fucking god._

It was a relief when they reached Yamaguchi’s apartment, the place that they decided to eat the processed foods that they bought from the convenience store. Tsukishima went straight to the bathroom and showered, removing all the glitters. He is entirely confident since he also has spare clothes in Yamaguchi’s house like the freckled man does in his. He never felt refreshed like this after showering.

“I’ll never touch glitters in my life ever again,” Tsukishima said when Yamaguchi also finished showering. He already reheated the food and laid the food on the coffee table so they could watch the television while eating.

“Blah blah, Tsukki. Anyways, do you want to sleep here? It’s Sunday tomorrow. You don’t have work, so you don’t have any excuses,” Yamaguchi asked while stirring his noodles with chopsticks. The blonde just cocks his head side to side, thinking if it’s alright. It’s been a while since the two of them hung out on a Saturday. Kuroo’s the one who’s always with him on that specific day, but Yamaguchi hastily made Tsukishima cancel his and Kuroo’s lunch today because they’re going somewhere. Well, Tsukishima didn’t know that that somewhere is Itsuki’s apartment.

“Sounds good,”

“Yey! Help me bake after our glorious five-star lunch?” Tsukishima nodded, and right after they finished their food and watched that shitty drama that Yamaguchi likes, they started to bake muffins.

Yamaguchi was too enthusiastic as they work together. It was scary how Yamaguchi could switch from a delinquent to a soft person who likes baking. Nevertheless, Tsukishima liked how his friendship with him is still strong as a diamond.

Although they quarreled a little with the muffins’ flavor, it still ended pretty well. The muffins were tasty and sweet like they usually are. Tsukishima was the one who cleaned everything up, a command from the apartment’s owner. Still thankful for what happened today, Tsukishima obeyed him even though he’s already tired.

“Tsukki, your phone is ringing,” Yamaguchi said while scrambling to stand to give his phone.

“Who is it?” He asked, and Yamaguchi read the caller’s ID. Tsukishima waited for his answer, but all he got was Yamaguchi suddenly answering the call and going away from him.

“Yamaguchi!” He shouted, ready to remove the yellow gloves that he’s using to wash the plates. Yamaguchi just waved his hand dismissively and continued to talk to whoever’s on the phone. “Who is that?”

“Just Kuroo, so go and finish washing those,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Captain’s order,” Yamaguchi added.

He’s on the verge of dying because of curiosity when he finally finished washing the plates. Yamaguchi looked like he’s having a good conversation with Kuroo, and Tsukishima could feel the betrayal. God, when did he became this nosy?

“What’re you talking about?” He asked when he moved closer to Yamaguchi, who instantly ended the call. The taller one squinted his eyes at his friend, feeling deluded. “You two are keeping secrets from me now?” Tsukishima tried his best to look hurt and make Yamaguchi spill out anything, something from his and Kuroo’s conversation.

“I’m giving you back to Kuroo,”

“Ha?”

“He’s in your apartment now, demanding for your presence,” Yamaguchi smiled and went to his kitchen, grabbed a paper box to place a dozen muffins for Tsukishima, and now, also for Kuroo. Tsukishima doesn’t even know what to say. How bold of Kuroo to just barge in his place only because he knows his passcode?

Oh well. I also did it a while ago. Okay. Karma.

“What does he want?”

“Ask him when you get there,” Yamaguchi winked, making Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrowed. What was happening?

“Wait, I thought that I’ll be sleeping here?” Yamaguchi just chuckled while placing the box in a decent paper bag. “Aren’t you kind of mad that Kuroo’s trying to snatch our time—”

Yamaguchi looked at him, smiling fondly. “Tsukki, do I look like I’m mad?” No. And again, there’s nothing in Yamaguchi’s face but a grin. Tsukishima couldn’t understand it. It’s been a week since they’ve hung out, yet Yamaguchi is just happily giving up their time just because Kuroo asked for Tsukishima. Does Yamaguchi not want to be with him anymore? Was he unconsciously neglecting Yamaguchi because he was too focused on rebuilding his relationship with Kuroo?

“I’m sorry, Tadashi,”

“What? Why the fuck are you saying sorry?” Tsukishima just played with his fingers, unable to make something up because he was feeling guilty. Yamaguchi seemed to notice this, so he quickly sat beside him and hugged him sideways. “I’m really not mad, okay? I just want you to spend more time with Kuroo. We’ve been together for years, but I think that you two still need to figure things out. Fixing a quite tainted friendship is not that easy, you know?”

“Yamaguchi—” Yamaguchi stood up and gave him the paper bag with a smile. He looked at him with questioning eyes. “Are you sure?” His friend just nodded, and for some reason, Tsukishima feels like crying. He’s so lucky that he has Yamaguchi in his life.

“Secure that bag, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi shouted at him before Tsukishima could walk farther from his apartment. Tsukishima choked hard and glared at his friend. Just what the fuck is Yamaguchi thinking? He’s making other people assume that Tsukishima’s about to do something.

He rode the train and was able to reach his own apartment within an hour. The sun was already setting, and Tsukishima’s reminded of the tiredness that he’s feeling. It would be great if he could already sleep as soon as he got home, but then Kuroo’s smirking face flashed in his mind.

_Fucking Kuroo. Going into my home without any notice and lessening the time of my potential sleep._

He entered his home and saw Kuroo sitting on the couch, using his phone with all the lights on. He cleared his throat and started to turn off the excessive lights. Kuroo saw him and quickly ran to him as if Tsukishima was a treat and Kuroo was a dog.

“Tsukki! I missed you!” Kuroo cupped his face too much, squishing the blonde’s cheeks. Tsukishima just stayed there, letting Kuroo do what he wants for a few seconds because he sure was going to open hell only for Kuroo, who is too comfortable now in his house. He was even wearing Tsukishima’s favorite lilac shirt and black sweatpants. And is he really smelling his shampoo?

“Are you done?” Tsukishima asked as soon as he mentally counted up to five.

Kuroo shook his head, beaming like its just the start of the day. “I don’t think that I’ll ever be done with you, Tsukki,”

_What the fuck._

Tsukishima felt his face heating up, so he turned his head to the right to avoid Kuroo’s gaze. Oh, how he wants to punch him.

“W-why the fuck are you here?” The stutter was almost enough to sell Tsukishima that was suddenly flustered, but he just wished that Kuroo stayed dumb that he didn’t notice it. He walked further into his apartment and sat on his couch.

“We’re going to celebrate!” Tsukishima looked at him weirdly. Even though Tsukishima doesn’t look like he cares about anything, he’s not the type of person who forgets their friends’ birthdays or other important days. 

“I’m sure that it’s no one’s birthday today,”

“Oh, Tsukki, Tsukki,” Kuroo opened the refrigerator, and Tsukishima threw a throw pillow at him for using the appliance like it’s his own. “You’re so violent!”

“That did not even hurt! And you’re literally using everything in here! You even used my shampoo?!” Tsukishima said, veins popping on his neck. “Is this your house? Is this yours?” Tsukishima blabbered, making Kuroo laugh while getting the food and beverages that he bought.

“I mean, we’re friends, so…” Tsukishima mentally noted that he’s going to use everything in Kuroo’s apartment if he’s going there. He’d even use his conditioner and turn the air conditioner the whole day. Maybe he’d even eat the food in his pantry. Tsukishima’s looking forward to it.

Oh. Was I really looking forward to going to this bastard’s place?

“Haruno-san finally allowed me to drink beer again!” Tsukishima sighed tiredly. He’s not sure if he should be happy since Kuroo did nothing but to whine, exclaiming that he’s not even drinking every day and how dare his manager strip beer from him. But now, seeing how pumped up Kuroo is, maybe Haruno allowing him to drink is terrible. “We’re celebrating!”

“Wow, you’re so happy,” He said lifelessly, but Kuroo didn’t mind his lack of enthusiasm.

“Let’s drink!”

“No, I’m not drinking,”

“Just one, please? How can I call this a celebration when you’re not going to drink?”

“Stop the fucking pout, you’re not cute. Anyways, this is from Yamaguchi,” Tsukishima opened the paper box, and Kuroo rejoiced. While Kuroo was picking the muffin that looks the best, being the aesthete he is, he received a message from Yamaguchi.

_**From: Yamaguchi Tadashining ✨** _

_**\** 27 images attached **\** _

_ Lowkey excited if we’re going to jail or nah _

This brought a small smile to Tsukishima’s lips that were noticed by Kuroo. He loomed over to the blonde’s phone and saw a few pictures. Acting like the pushy person he is, Kuroo asked him what’s with the images that he just saw. Tsukishima gladly told him what happened earlier as he let Kuroo borrow his phone to look at the pictures more. At first, Kuroo said that it’s unfair why they left him out from doing such an immaculate and fun thing. Tsukishima could only shrug. Maybe Yamaguchi put Kuroo’s aggressiveness that he might end up cutting Itsuki’s couch open as well as his pillows into consideration.

Sometimes, Tsukishima just thinks that his friends were the people who got cheated on instead of him. They’re the ones who seem too fixated on ruining Itsuki’s life. But it’s not like Tsukishima’s complaining. He’s also kind of loving it. Talk about being an indecisive and a hypocrite person.

Kuroo was able to push Tsukishima to drink too, and because of Kuroo’s eagerness, they ended up drinking too fast. Five cans each in just an hour. Tsukishima was already feeling a little dizzy, and it’s somehow making him floaty. Oh. He’s starting to like beer more than he did in the past years. He couldn’t believe it he’s starting to join Kuroo in becoming an alcoholic.

“I could always hear Kira-chan laughing in the background whenever Haruno-san calls me early in the morning to go to the gym,”

“So?”

“I think that they’re together! Why would they be together that early even though we don’t have any work?” Kuroo continued to explain how he thinks that his manager and personal assistant are together. Everything that Kuroo was saying was making a lot of sense, and Tsukishima found himself intrigued too.

Kuroo also shared his experience with the new product that he’s supposed to endorse. He asked them for a week so he could try the product first to test its effect. He ended up declining the offer, saying that he didn’t get any positive outcome from the product and he’d not risk endorsing it to make people buy it. Tsukishima just listened to him earnestly, quite happy and proud of Kuroo. For the hundredth time, Kuroo proved to him that he’s not even after the money that he could earn. It’s his passion and the want to have a platform that could influence people in the right way, and maybe to also flaunt his face.

But Tsukishima couldn’t really deny it. Kuroo’s a good and genuine person.

On Kuroo’s eighth can, his words were already slurring, and Tsukishima was having difficulties understanding him. Tsukishima already stopped drinking right after his sixth can. Having a lousy hangover tomorrow is not in his plans for his last day this weekend.

They were both seated on the couch, Kuroo saying something incoherent and Tsukishima munching on his third muffin. It was already night, but although it’s still not late, Tsukishima could feel himself getting drowsier every minute. He’s done a lot today, after all.

“Hey, Tsukki,” Tsukishima hummed and looked at Kuroo. “Can I lean on you?” He asked, but Tsukishima didn’t answer him fast. It was hard to understand Kuroo’s words.

“What—” Kuroo suddenly leaned at him, his head comfortably sitting on Tsukishima’s trapezius. This caught Tsukishima off guard, freezing in place as he hears Kuroo’s little hiccups and deep breathing. After a minute, he felt that Kuroo was already sleeping. He wants to sleep too, but his chest was tightening, fluttering, and thrilling with something that Tsukishima couldn’t comprehend.

It wasn’t foreign. He felt this same feeling years ago when he was in college, but that certain memory was vague, and Tsukishima couldn’t pinpoint what happened back then when he experienced this. It feels… awfully pleasant. Tsukishima was feeling nice.

He let Kuroo be and just continued to eat the muffins. He couldn’t reach his phone, and he doesn’t want to wake Kuroo up, so he was stuck with Yamaguchi’s muffins. He already consumed five and was getting full from all that he ate and drank for the night. Tsukishima just shook his head when he realized that this was his dinner. He was about to stuff his mouth again with food when Kuroo shifted, and Tsukishima automatically stopped moving. Kuroo groaned, low, and it sent unwanted chills to Tsukishima’s nape.

“Hmm… Tsukki,”

What the fuck is this? Why was his heart violently reacting to a simple _Tsukki?_

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you push me?” Tsukishima was able to glimpse at Kuroo’s reflection on the television's black screen despite the lights turned off, the light from the moon serving as their lamp through the open window. Kuroo’s hair was tousled, and his too, and Tsukishima just surrendered to what he’s feeling.

“I don’t know,”

“You don’t?” Tsukishima hummed as a response, then the silence engulfed them again. “Then can we stay like this for a little more?”

Tsukishima once read somewhere in a book that people tend to become honest when it's nighttime. People are coming under a natural state of relaxation, which causes them to let loose of their feelings during the daytime. It’s somehow easier to express the emotions that people are suppressing that’s why most conversations at night flow easily. And now, Kei thinks that maybe, maybe it’s true.

“Okay,” He says with a smile. “We can stay like this for a little more,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't have any difficulties in writing this chapter. It just came out naturally and I'm happy (￣▽￣) I'm hoping that everyone still finds this enjoying. And as always, please stay safe everyone! love lots～

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, everyone! ᒄ₍⁽ˆ⁰ˆ⁾₎ᒃ♪♬


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